Dealing with mental health issues of my own (depression and anxiety), I am always interested in how mental health issues affect others and those who love them. So when I saw Sonja Wasden and her daughter Rachael Siddoway on the morning news discussing their book on Sonja’s battles with bipolar disorder, I knew I had to read their book An Impossible Life. I sent off an e-mail to Sonja requesting a copy of her book to read and review and she was kind enough to send it to me. Here is my review.
On the surface, Sonja Wasden had it all. Her husband Mitch was a successful CEO of a local hospital. Her children Rachael, Alex, and Lincoln were healthy, smart, and accomplished. And she lived in a lovely upper-class suburb.
But looks can be deceiving. Sonja was barely covering up a devastating battle with bipolar disorder and it wad consuming every aspect of her life.
An Impossible Life begins in 2007 and Sonja is in the emergency room. She’s been brought against her will be her husband and father. She is spinning out of control and she needs psychiatric care. Sonja is defiant. There is no way she could be crazy. She’s just over-stressed, right?
Well, there is over-stressed and then there is mental illness. Sonja is fully engulfed in bipolar disorder and it’s destroying her.
What is bipolar disorder? According to my research, bipolar disorder is a mental illness where a person goes from one extreme mood to another. At times, a person can experience mania, or a very elevated mood. And a times, a person can fall into the pits of depression. People with bipolar disorder can have difficulties dealing with their home and/or work life. Even the simplest tasks like doing a load of laundry can be insurmountable. People with bipolar disorder often have troubled relationships and a multitude of other problems. Sadly, there is no cure, but bipolar disorder can be managed through various methods including medication and therapy.
An Impossible Life begins with Sonja describing her hellish stay at the psych ward in heartbreaking detail, claiming she wants to die.
But her hospitalization is only part of her story. An Impossible Life also tells the before and after of Sonja’s time in the psych ward.
She opens up about growing up in a well-to-do family, which had its own dysfunction and tragedy. She describes the early days of her marriage and young motherhood, a task she didn’t always accept willingly. She wanted the life of a carefree teenager.
Sonja recalls in agonizing detail of in inflicting self-harm with knives, battles with binge eating, and spending sprees that made a serious dent in the family finances. She was also tortured by suicidal thoughts and attempts.
But most of all An Impossible Life describes how her mental illness and struggle with recovery impacted her family and loved ones. She also conveys how bipolar disorder affected her own sense of self-worth. Sonja is unflinchingly honest on how she coped with her internal battles and the expectations of the real world. She’s also quite honest with the problems she had with some healthcare professionals who didn’t always have her best interests at heart.
Going in zigs and zags Sonja found the methods and resources to help her get better. She will never fully recover from bipolar disorder, but she has improved greatly. And her loving family and friends continue to support her. It’s very touching.
An Impossible Life is not an easy book to read. At times I found myself gobsmacked over what Sonja went through and how she acted. At other times I had to put the book down, too overwhelmed. I felt so much for Sonja and her family.
I hope An Impossible Life opens up a dialogue about mental health issues and inspires compassion. I believe it is a book that should be read by those who deal with mental illness and those who care for them.
*Sonja Wasden and her daughter Rachael Siddoway have traveled all over the United States donating their book to various libraries. An Impossible Life is part of a series, including An Impossible Wife: Why I Stayed, An Impossible Childhood: Rachael’s Story, and An Impossible Mother: Lincoln’s Story.
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