As a childfree woman, I’m not exactly the target market for mom influencers. Yet, I’m very aware of the power these women wield via their blogs, YouTube channels, Tik Tok, and various forms of social media (especially Instagram). Probably the first well-known mom influencers was Heather Armstrong, better known as Dooce. Armstrong was very honest about the gritty reality and challenges of motherhood. I believe she suffered from severe post-partum depression. Over the past few year, Armstrong’s fame lessened. And sadly, Armstrong took her life last year.
Today, mom influencers are a different breed. These women bathe motherhood in a golden light. Their children are adorable cherubs who never throw tantrums or make messes. These womens homes are beautifully curated and decorated. These mother’s are never frazzled. Most of them are thin, stylish, and yes, mostly white.
One of the most famous of these mom influencers is Hannah Neeleman, a Julliard-trained dancer who just had her eighth(!) child. She and her husband live on a huge farm. They seem to be the modern version of “Little House on the Prairie.” However, Hannah’s husband is the so of the founder of Jet Blue Airlines. These people are loaded! Hannah’s stove probably costs more than your car.
But I digress.
Though not a follower of influencers, I do have a weird interest in the whole influencer phenomenon. And so does writer and mother of three Sara Petersen. And she examines modern motherhood and the world of mom influencers in her book Momfluenced: Inside the Maddening, Picture-Perfect World of Mommy Influencer Culture.
In Momfluenced, Peterson fully admits she has a love/hate relationship with mom influencers. She has an appetite for their content; she was even influenced to have a third child due to mom influencers. But Petersen is not blind to some of the problems with mom influencers, their content, and the audience that follows them. Petersen gives the reader a primer on the world of mom influencers. She also introduces and interviews some of the influencers she follows, allowing them to speak beyond their Instagram feeds.
Petersen often uses Momfluenced to compare her own journey as a mother and domestic life. Often she finds herself lacking. But I believe this has been the experience of mothers for eons. I bet a lot of mothers compared themselves to June Cleaver, Carol Brady, and Claire Huxtable. But these ladies are fictional. You only faced them once a week via their television shows. But now we can easily access our favorite influencers continuously by simply picking up our smart phones.
The mothers Petersen interviews talk about everything from getting branding deals for their social media to coming up with photos, posts and video reels. Some social media is as carefully curated as a movie or television show. Many of the mothers are quite honest that they do have issues that other mothers face and their not always living in domestic bliss.
Petersen mentions that the most well-known mom influencers are often white, cis, attractive, and very well-off. Influencing of all kinds is very whitewashed. So I really appreciated Petersen reaching out to mom influencers who do not fit into this narrow demographic.
However, Momfluenced does have its faults. At times, Petersen’s writing does come across like a teenager’s diary or burn book. She also comes across like a wannabe suck up when interviewing some of the mom influencers.
But there is one omission that to me, is pretty much unforgivable. Never once does Petersen questions and examine how mom influencers and their social media affects their children. Many of these children are being exploited and they have no say in how they are being portrayed online. We all know child actors can end up messed up and there are protections in place for them. There are no protections for the children on social media at this time. This alone, is too glaring of an omission to ignore, and that is why I cannot give Momfluenced a glowing critique.
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