Retro Review: The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

When the late Sylvia Plath’s novel The Bell Jar was released in 1963, it was considered groundbreaking. It focused on topics quite controversial just over 60 years ago, including ambition in young women in a time when women were supposed to desire only marriage and motherhood and dealing with horrifying mental health issues. Originally published under the name Victoria Lucas, Sylvia’s only novel is still considered a classic in the feminist canon. But how well does The Bell Jar hold up in 2024? I decided to read it and found out for myself.

Meet Esther Greenwood, raised in the Boston suburbs by her widowed mother, Esther is now in college, which is being funded by a wealthy local author. It is the summer of 1953, and Esther has procured an internship with the fictional women’s magazine “Ladies Day” in New York City. Though Esther’s days are filled with magazine-related activities, and her nights trying to socialize with her fellow interns, Esther feels disconnected and empty. She just can’t work up the excitement over this opportunity that most girls would give their eye teeth for. Esther is riddled with anxiety and depression. Can she shake out of this funk?

Several incidents occur during Esther’s internship that Plath goes into great detail to describe. Esther talks about the various assignments for “Ladies Day” the interns get to work on as well as the nice swag they all receive (not to mention the horrid food poisoning everyone gets at a luncheon). She also describes Esther trying to befriend her fellow interns like the flirtatious and sociable Doreen and the very pious and naïve Betsy, who Esther is more drawn towards. Esther also reminisces about the various scrapes she gets into when it comes to men, like when a local New York City radio host tries to seduce her, but later he decides to date Doreen. And towards the end of her internship, Esther is nearly raped at a country club party she attends with Doreen. Esther escapes but this causes her to throw out her new clothing and sends her further into despair.

After the internship ends, Esther returns to her childhood home. During this time, Esther is absolutely crushed when another scholarship opportunity, a writing course featuring a well-known author, does not come through. She is not accepted into this prestigious program. Esther tries to fill her time before school resumes in the fall by writing a novel. Yet, she thinks she lacks the life experience to write a proper book. And she also questions what her life will be like after she graduates from college. Up till then, Esther’s whole life has revolved around academics. Will she have a career or will so end up “just a wife and mother” as the fifties often dictated to women back then.

Esther continues to fall into deeper and deeper depression, not being able to sleep or attend to basic activities. She does see a psychiatrist for a while (whom she doesn’t exactly warm up to because she thinks he’s too handsome). And when this psychiatrist suggest electroconvulsive therapy, better known as ECT. The ECT doesn’t work, and Esther makes some half-hearted suicide attempt.

However, she does nearly die after she crawls into a cellar and takes far too many sleeping pills. When her mother can’t find Esther, it is assumed she has been kidnapped and possibly murdered, which the media takes note of. Once discovered, Esther spends time at several mental hospitals, the last one paid for by her college benefactor, the writer who is named Philomena Guinea. It is at this facility, Esther meets Dr. Nolan, a woman therapist, receives questionable treatments including insulin shots, and more ECT. She also meets another patient named Joan, and it is implied Joan is a lesbian who is attracted to Esther. Esther is not fond of Joan at all.

Esther also muses about her old boyfriend, Buddy. Buddy thinks the two might get married someday, but Esther won’t entertain the idea. Esther thinks Buddy is a hypocrite because he lost his virginity to another woman instead of staying pure for Esther. It is also found out that Joan also dated buddy (even though she may be heavily closeted).

During her sessions with Dr. Nolan, Esther bemoans the life women back then must lead and she wants to have the same freedom men have, which includes everything from having sex (Dr. Nolan suggest Esther be fitted with a diaphragm), and to have a full life outside of total domesticity. And as the The Bell Jar ends, Buddy visits Esther and wonders if he’s the cause of both Esther and Joan going crazy and ended up hospitalized. Perhaps he did have a part in it, but who cares? Esther is relieved when Buddy decides to end their non-engagement. Now she is free to really live.

While reading The Bell Jar, I could understand why it was so groundbreaking when it was published in 1963. It portrayed a young woman who had ambition beyond getting married and having oodles of children. It’s wonderful Esther is smart and has goals her life that don’t necessarily include marriage and motherhood solely. And as someone who has dealt with mental health issues, I appreciate a novel that spoke of one woman’s struggle and her fight to remedy herself.

However, in 2024, The Bell Jar just cuts different. For one thing, there is a lot of racism in this book. Esther talks about the ugliness of Peruvians and Aztecs. She also keeps referring to a Black orderly at the mental hospital as the Negro. He is never given a name or just referred to his profession as an orderly. Plus, I found Esther to be rather insufferable to the other women in the book whether it was her mother (who struggled greatly to raise her without Esther’s father) or looking down on a woman in the neighborhood who is raising a large brood of children.

Still, I do think The Bell Jar is an important work. Just keep in mind how things have changed since the fifties when it takes place, and in 1963, when it was published. And be grateful things have changed for women in the past sixty years…or have they? Hmm.

Book Review: Class-A Memoir of Motherhood, Hunger, and Higher Education by Stephanie Land

We were first introduced to author Stephanie Land with her debut Memoir Class (which I reviewed nearly five years ago in 2019). Maid chronicled Land’s escape from an abusive relationship with her young daughter in tow. Life was so precarious for the two of them. The faced homelessness and a tattered safety net when it comes to getting public assistance. Land tried to support herself and her daughter by cobbling together housekeeping jobs, which mostly paid really crappy wages and where far to many people don’t value as truly hard work. Maid became a blockbuster best-selling book and the Netflix series based on Maid was critically-acclaimed and a hit with audiences, and gained Land more readers and fans. Now Land is back with another memoir Class: A Memoir of Motherhood, Hunger, and Higher Learning.

In Class, Land is now living in Montana with her daughter Emilia. She’s still trying to support the both of them by taking on housekeeping and cleaning gigs. But struggle and poverty follow them. Land is also attending the University of Montana in pursuit of a degree in creative writing. A degree doesn’t guarantee Land will obtain a six figure job with a fancy, impressive title. But it may help her get out of poverty and provide her and Emilia with a much better life.

Land still faces difficulty. Struggle and impoverishment continue to plague Land and affect nearly every decision she makes. Land tries to balance taking care of Emilia, procure housekeeping gigs, and got to school and do her homework. I went to college with a lot of single moms, so I can easily imagine how monumental this was for Land.

Though Land’s ex isn’t completely out of the picture as he takes Emilia in during her summers off between school, he’s a total ass when it comes to paying child support. This ex has a decent job, so it’s not like he can’t help pay for Emilia’s care. Land’s concern for Emilia’s needs are viewed as a mere irritant like a buzzing mosquito rather than something that should be fulfilled by Emilia’s very own father.

Land and Emilia live in a ramshackle house with roommates. The house is very drafty during Montana’s brutal winters, and cupboards and refrigerator are often bare. Land tries to cobble some type of safety night through public aid like food stamps, but the help she reaches out for is often not there. As she seeks help, Land has to jump through many hoops and condescension and rudeness from social workers. And after all of that, she still denied the bare minimum she and Emilia desperately need. She’s told her freelance cleaning gigs don’t count as “real work,” and her pursuit of an education is frivolous and unneccessary.

And then there is Land’s pursuit of her degree. At the University of Montana, Land is an anomaly at the university. There aren’t many thirtysomething single moms in her classes. Land is more than a decade older than her classmates. But Land tries to pay of that no mind, as she buckles down with her classes, homework, and papers. And unlike her classmates, Land doesn’t have a lot of family support. Not to mention, she couldn’t exactly indulge in such collegiate pursuits like frat parties and spring breaks in Florida.

With her struggles and housekeeping work, Land is kind of seen as a “working class writer” at the university. Writing is just in her blood; Land knows she must write. She’s a storyteller at heart. She does seek out mentorship from her program’s director. This director had attended grad school as a single mom, and later wrote a book about these experiences. But instead of acting as a mentor, this woman rebuffs Land. Ah, the whole “I got mine; fuck the rest of you,” an infuriating and all-too-common trope. Not everyone who has been in similar circumstances is an ally.

Okay, Land does get into some situations that may make readers a wee bit judgmental. She has fly-by-night relationships with men where pregnancy is the result. Though Land is in her thirties by this time, she doesn’t really seem to be concerned about birth control and getting pregnant. One pregnancy prompts Land to get an abortion. But with the second pregnancy in this time, Land decides to keep the baby. It’s baffling how Land is going to handle another child while she’s dealing with school, Emilia, a crappy ex, poverty, and cobbling together housekeeping gigs. And through all of this, Land realizes who is in her corner and who isn’t. And in the end, Land graduates about to give birth to her second daughter, Coraline, with Emilia by her side.

Like Maid, Land is brutally honest with the obstacles she faced and those she made. She shows fierce love for her children and a lot of guts and grit as she tries to fulfill her dream of an education and success as a writer. Being poor single mom, I’m sure there are people out there who think Land should have studied something more practical than creative writing like accounting or she should have learned how to code or something. But why should creative pursuits be only for the privileged and well-to-do? Class will definitely challenge those assumptions.

Class is yet another literary feather in Land’s cap, and proves Maid was no one-hit-wonder fluke. Perhaps Netflix should look into making another limited series based on Stephanie Land’s Class.

I Read It So You Don’t Have To: Rebecca, Not Becky by Christine Platt and Catherine Wigginton Greene

The novel, Rebecca, Not Becky by Christine Platt and Catherine Wigginton Greene is the tale of two Millennial age women, one white and one Black, as they navigate raising children, taking care of elderly relatives, managing their marriages, and dealing with the thorny topic of race, bigotry, and race relations.

Meet De’Andrea Whitman. She just left her successful career as a lawyer, and not by chance, and is now settled in Rolling Hills, Virginia with her husband Malik and their little girl, Nina. The Whitmans have moved to Rolling Hills to be closer to Malik’s mother who has dementia and is living in a care facility called Memory Village. The Whitmans used to live in Atlanta and found a sense of place within the Black community. De’Andrea stays in touch with her old Atlanta friends and doesn’t know if she can find a home in the very white Rolling Hills.

Now meet Rebecca Myland. She used to go by Becky, but with the name Becky being used as a euphemism for clueless basic white bitches. Rebecca is a stay at home mom who lives with her husband Todd and their two daughters Lyla and Isabella in Rolling Hills. And like De’Andrea, she also has a mother in law at Memory Village.

Rebecca is thrilled when she finds out a Black family has moved to Rolling Hills. She hopes to befriend the Whitmans, which will allow her to use all the knowledge she has gained when it comes to race as a diversity leader at her daughters’ school and as a member of an anti-racist book club. And it does come across like Rebecca might treat this black family as an experiment instead of seeming them as unique individuals.

De’Andrea is feeling adrift and depressed in Rolling Hills. She’s dealing with the heavy burden of running a household, raising Nina, and being there for Malike’s mother. De’Andrea feels useless without her law career and she misses her friends in Atlanta. Is she going to find a sense of community in the white bread enclave of Rolling Hills?

De’Andrea’s therapist comes up with an assignment. De’Andrea should try to befriend a white woman. Not surprisingly, De’Andrea is a bit apprehensive. She doesn’t want to have a friendship that feels forced. And can she really fit in with the privileged white ladies of Rolling HIlls?

But then De’Andrea’s daughter Nina becomes besties with Rebecca’s daughter Isabella. The two little girls have bonded in their kindergarten class. This means De’Andrea has to deal with Rebecca at school drop offs and pick ups, various school functions, and at play dates for Nina and Isabella.

At first, De’Andrea tries to keep Rebecca at arms length. But begrudgingly, she begins to get involved with some of Rebecca’s social activities and social circle. Rebecca can be a bit too much when it comes to being the “white savior.” And to be honest, De’Andrea comes a across as a bit stand-offish and narrowminded. But at times, it is quite understandable why she would question the motives of a privileged white woman like Rebecca.

But De’Andrea and Rebecca soon bond over similar life experiences. Both are dealing with raising children and elder care issues. Both are trying to keep their marriages strong. And both are trying to navigate the racial and social issues that affect Rolling Hills.

Then De’Andrea and Rebecca join forces to bring down a Confederate soldier’s statue in Rolling Hills. A lot of the town’s people also want to bring the offending statue down. But due to a place like Rolling Hills being in the deep South plenty of the town’s citizens want to keep the offensive statue up because or “heritage” or “history” or some rot. De’Andrea and Rebecca learn through all of this that people are stronger when they work together.

Rebecca, Not Becky, in the hands of better writers, could have really been a fantastic read. It covers many of the current issues we face today-race, bigotry, and social changes. It also covers the everyday issues so many women face-raising children, running a household, elder care, and trying to make their marriages thrive. But in the less capable writing talents of Platt and Wigginton Greene, these issues and situations never go very deep. Plus, when Rebecca, Not Becky goes into some intriguing story lines, the writing just putters out. It’s quite disappointing.

And there’s the two main characters, De’Andrea and Rebecca. I don’t expect characters to be flawless, but both ladies are not likable. Both of them come across as conceited and full of themselves. There’s a lot of name-dropping, slang that won’t age well, and vapid texts in place of decent dialogue. It’s as if both of these women were the real housewives of Rolling Hills rather than fully fleshed out characters who are compelling.

Rebecca, Not Becky is not to be read.

Book Review: Momfluenced-Inside the Maddening, Picture-Perfect World of Mommy Influencer Culture by Sara Petersen

As a childfree woman, I’m not exactly the target market for mom influencers. Yet, I’m very aware of the power these women wield via their blogs, YouTube channels, Tik Tok, and various forms of social media (especially Instagram). Probably the first well-known mom influencers was Heather Armstrong, better known as Dooce. Armstrong was very honest about the gritty reality and challenges of motherhood. I believe she suffered from severe post-partum depression. Over the past few year, Armstrong’s fame lessened. And sadly, Armstrong took her life last year.

Today, mom influencers are a different breed. These women bathe motherhood in a golden light. Their children are adorable cherubs who never throw tantrums or make messes. These womens homes are beautifully curated and decorated. These mother’s are never frazzled. Most of them are thin, stylish, and yes, mostly white.

One of the most famous of these mom influencers is Hannah Neeleman, a Julliard-trained dancer who just had her eighth(!) child. She and her husband live on a huge farm. They seem to be the modern version of “Little House on the Prairie.” However, Hannah’s husband is the so of the founder of Jet Blue Airlines. These people are loaded! Hannah’s stove probably costs more than your car.

But I digress.

Though not a follower of influencers, I do have a weird interest in the whole influencer phenomenon. And so does writer and mother of three Sara Petersen. And she examines modern motherhood and the world of mom influencers in her book Momfluenced: Inside the Maddening, Picture-Perfect World of Mommy Influencer Culture.

In Momfluenced, Peterson fully admits she has a love/hate relationship with mom influencers. She has an appetite for their content; she was even influenced to have a third child due to mom influencers. But Petersen is not blind to some of the problems with mom influencers, their content, and the audience that follows them. Petersen gives the reader a primer on the world of mom influencers. She also introduces and interviews some of the influencers she follows, allowing them to speak beyond their Instagram feeds.

Petersen often uses Momfluenced to compare her own journey as a mother and domestic life. Often she finds herself lacking. But I believe this has been the experience of mothers for eons. I bet a lot of mothers compared themselves to June Cleaver, Carol Brady, and Claire Huxtable. But these ladies are fictional. You only faced them once a week via their television shows. But now we can easily access our favorite influencers continuously by simply picking up our smart phones.

The mothers Petersen interviews talk about everything from getting branding deals for their social media to coming up with photos, posts and video reels. Some social media is as carefully curated as a movie or television show. Many of the mothers are quite honest that they do have issues that other mothers face and their not always living in domestic bliss.

Petersen mentions that the most well-known mom influencers are often white, cis, attractive, and very well-off. Influencing of all kinds is very whitewashed. So I really appreciated Petersen reaching out to mom influencers who do not fit into this narrow demographic.

However, Momfluenced does have its faults. At times, Petersen’s writing does come across like a teenager’s diary or burn book. She also comes across like a wannabe suck up when interviewing some of the mom influencers.

But there is one omission that to me, is pretty much unforgivable. Never once does Petersen questions and examine how mom influencers and their social media affects their children. Many of these children are being exploited and they have no say in how they are being portrayed online. We all know child actors can end up messed up and there are protections in place for them. There are no protections for the children on social media at this time. This alone, is too glaring of an omission to ignore, and that is why I cannot give Momfluenced a glowing critique.

Book Review: City of Likes by Jenny Mollen

In actor, author, and Instagram favorite Jenny Mollen’s first novel City of Likes, she takes a very pointed and funny look at the world of social media and social mores, friendship and frenemies, and influencers and the influenced.

Meet Megan Chernoff. Megan is a talented copywriter who is trying to get her writing career back on track. She and her family have just moved to New York City from Los Angeles. They are currently living in their actor friend’s loft while he’s on location filming. Sounds glamorous, right? Well, hardly. The Chernoffs are currently dealing with cockroaches and a less than reliable oven.

Megan and her husband, Illiya, have two small boys, Roman and Felix. Illiya works at a very exclusive and expensive high-end private social club. And it’s here where Megan meets Daphne Cole.

Who is Daphne Cole, you ask. Well, Daphne Cole is only one of the hottest mommy influencers ever! Daphne is famous for her picture perfect family and her glamorous, exciting life. Daphne has countless followers frothing at the mouth at her posts on Instagram. And companies all over seek her out to promote their products.

Megan feels like a total dork compared to Daphne, so she is shocked and delighted when Daphne befriends her. Daphne Cole wants to hang out with her! Wow!

Being in Daphne’s orbit is intoxicating for Megan. Soon she is meeting other influencer moms and gaining followers on her own Instagram account. Megan is also getting free stuff from various companies. Soon Megan is slipping further and further into influencer madness. She thinks knowing the right people and making the right connections will improve her life and her family’s life. One goal of Megan’s is to get her son, Roman, into the right school and she thinks knowing the right people like Daphne will help. And she isn’t above embellishing her son’s application letter mentioning she’s friends with Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson.

Megan at first is thrilled at the change in her life. It’s like she’s the most popular girl at school. And when Daphne invites her to Paris, Megan jumps at the chance. However, things aren’t so rosy on the home front. Illiya isn’t happy with Megan’s new life and he questions her on how her new found fame is affecting her, him, and the kids.

But things get crazier and crazier in Megan’s life, she starts to realize that Daphne and the life she claims may not be so true. Megan questions what is real and what is not. Sure, Megan may have hit pay dirt, gotten more followers, free stuff, and connections to the glamorous people, but at what cost? Is she being her authentic self? Is she make a good impact in the world? Is her family happy? In the end Megan wants to face reality and real people who love her for who she truly is.

Though I find the influencer culture quite maddening whether it comes to parenting, fashion, or fitness, I am at the same time fascinated by it. What makes someone so appealing and powerful they can command free stuff and millions of followers? I can’t quite figure it out, but City of Likes truly captures the crazy world of influencer culture with its obsession with followers, likes, free stuff, and looking perfect. It also grasps how easily people can get caught up in influencer culture. Mollen writes with a sharp wit and a keen eye. City of Likes is a great novel for anyone who has been caught up in influencer culture or finds influencer culture quite interesting.

Book Review: I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman by Nora Ephron

It was such a loss when Nora Ephron died in 2012. Ms. Ephron is mostly known for writing movie scripts for films like Silkwood and the rom com classic, When Harry Met Sally. She was also a director who directed films like You’ve Got Mail and Julie and Julia. Ephron also wrote the novel Heartburn, which was closely based on her messed up marriage to journalist Carl Bernstein and was later made into a movie starring Jack Nicholson and Meryl Streep.

But before all that, Ephron was a journalist and she wrote several books filled with essay about the female condition. Her essay, “A Few Words About Breasts” is iconic.

In 2006, Ephron published I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman.” In this book, Ephron opines about entering her dotage and all that getting older entails.

In the opening essay, the same as the title of the book, Ephron is not happy about her neck. A woman can get a face lift and use fancy creams costing 150 bucks. But your wrinkly, spotted neck is going to give away your age, sweetie. Sure, you can complain about your neck. But you can also cover it up with a turtleneck sweater or a pretty scarf.

Ephron continues this theme in her essay “Maintenance.” She muses about all the products we use in order to maintain glossy hair, smooth skin, and a taut body. We need day cream and we need night cream. And don’t forget about eye cream. A long time there was just shampoo. Now my bathroom contains shampoo and conditioner for color treated hair, a deep conditioner, and a color enhancer for my dyed red hair.

Ephron tells us about her time working as an intern in the Kennedy White House. No, she didn’t have an affair with him. He barely noticed her. Ephron is also candid when discussing marriage and the varied stages on parenthood. Ephron talks about finding the perfect apartment and finding the perfect strudel in New York City.

But my one favorite essays in I Feel Bad About My Neck is “Rapture.” No, this isn’t the type of rapture Evangelical Christians warn us about. Ephron was Jewish. I was raised Catholic. We don’t do the rapture. No, instead, Ephron talks about the rapture of reading and finding a treasured book. Being such a great writer, I’m not surprised Ephron was a voracious reader. In “Rapture” talks about her favorite books from childhood onto her adult life.

I Feel About My Neck is a charming, intimate, and quick read. If you are a fan of relatable essays and funny ladies, you should probably pick up I Feel Bad About My Neck. Though unfortunately, Nora Ephron is no longer with us, she had left us a legacy of books and films to treasure.

Book Review: Not Your Father’s America-An Adventure Raising Triplets in a Country Being Changed by Greed by Cort Casady

Being a woman without children, I can only imagine what it’s like to raise one child. But what about raising three children, and not three children born consecutively, but all at once. Yes. TRIPLETS! Raising triplets is a huge undertaking, one that TV writer Cort Casady along with his wife Barbara are quite familiar with. They raised three triplet boys, Jackson, Carter, and Braeden, and Casady documents the raising of his three boys in his memoir Not Your Father’s America: An Adventure Raising Triplets in a Country Being Changed by Greed.

Cort and Barbara met, fell in love, and got married. They knew they truly wanted children, but the process of getting pregnant wasn’t exactly easy (though initially, I’m sure they had fun trying-wink). Having difficulties, Cort and Casady resorted to IVF and other fertility treatments, which I am now very familiar with.

However, there was heartbreak in conceiving a child. They lost a baby early on, and were devastated? We’re Cort and Barbara never going to have children? But soon Barbara was pregnant with triplets, which truly threw them for a loop. There was talk of elimination of one or two of the embryos, but Cort and Barbara decided to keep all of them. Knowing being a woman of a certain age (Cort and Barbara became parents when most of their peers were sending their oldest to college), Barbara to extra care of herself and her pregnancy.

The Casady boys were born in January of 1995. Being multiples, they were underweight and had some health issues that needed to be attended to. But soon Carter, Jackson, and Braeden were safely home with their parents. And that’s when the fun, and a lot of hard work began. Fortunately, Cort and Barbara had a lot of help from family, friends, and several nannies, though it did take time to get the nanny situation figured out. It truly does take a village to raise a child, or in this case, three children.

Cort lovingly records Carter, Jackson, and Braeden’s development and progress from babyhood through childhood onto the teen years and then young adulthood and college. No small detail escapes Cort. And to think about it no details are small. It’s a major accomplishment to learn how to walk, go to school the first time, travel to a new place, and figure out one’s place in the world. And what I appreciate it, is how Cort and Barbara encourage their boys to be unique individuals with their own separate ideas, talents, and skills. Often parents think their children should be carbon copies of each other, especially those who are multiples. Cort and Barb don’t do that.

But Cort does so much more than cover his son’s growing up. He also covers the major events that have occurred during their lives (and ours), and how it has affected so many people. Though very young when September 11th happened (the triplets were in first grade), the boys knew something very bad had happened. How do you explain this horrific act of terror to children when adults could barely explain it to themselves?

Cort also discusses corporate malfeasance and greed. Remember Enron? And then there was the fall of financial institutions thought too big to fail and a recession that hurt countless Americans. Sadly, it seems corporate malfeasance and greed is built into the fabric of our society.

Cort doesn’t pretend to have all the answers, and he knows politics and social issues are very thorny topics. But I do appreciate how he is concerned about various issues that have harmed everything from our political landscape to our environment to the world of finance and business.

But ultimately, Not Your Father’s America is one father’s love letter to his boys. At times it may seem Cort is bragging, but Cort has a lot to brag about. Carter, Jackson, and Braeden have grown up to be wonderful young men. In a world where we hear about so much abuse parents do to their children, it’s lovely to come across a father who not only loves his sons, he also likes them a whole lot, too.

Retro Review: 13th Gen-Abort, Retry, Ignore, Fail? by Neil Howe and William Strauss with Ian Williams

As I mentioned in my review of Liz Prato’s book Kids in America, Generation X captured some attention in the 1990s. I remember there were quite a few books trying to figure Generation X out. Ha, as if we’d let them.

However, in the early 1990s, I read Neil and William Strauss’s book 13th Gen: Abort, Retry, Ignore, Fail?. And at the time, I found it to be interesting and quite infuriating. It just seemed as if the Gen X lifespan was filled with so much doom and gloom.

But why did Howe and Strauss label Generation X the 13th generation? Well, it’s because they were the 13th generation to know the United States since its inception. Also, unlike other demographers, Howe and Strauss did not consider 1965-1980 to be Gen X birth years. Instead, they considered Gen X birth years to be from 1961-1981. Twenty years!

Another reason why they used the number 13 is due to the idea that it’s unlucky (Friday the 13th, anyone?). And many Gen X-ers have dealt with a string of bad luck, especially as they came of age-family breakdown, crumbling schools, gang violence and the crack epidemic, AIDS, political malfeasance, the high cost of higher education, workplace woes, and several recessions. It’s as if Gen X was dealt a bad hand.

13th Gen is divided into three sections. Part One looks at how the generations preceding Gen X shaped and molded them and how we also compared to them, mainly the Greatest Generation, the Silent Generation, and yep, the Baby Boomers. It also takes a look at the historical experiences that affected Gen X from Watergate, Vietnam, gas shortages, the Jonestown mass suicide, Three Mile Island, the Iranian hostage crisis, the election of Reagan, AIDS, and the Challenger space shuttle explosion in 1986.

Part Two is named “The American Dream Has No 13th Floor.” This section takes a look at how various issues like race, sex, money, education, the workplace, and politics affects 13ers and 13ers stake and influence when it comes to these issues.

And in the third part, Howe and Strauss examine the 13er generation’s impact on America, especially when it comes to pop culture. Remember, this book came out in the early 1990s as grunge and hip hop were becoming popular. Howe and Strauss also peer into their crystal balls and predict where the 13th generation will be as they head into middle age in the 21st century.

Howe and Strauss aren’t alone in it’s examination of 13ers. Actual 13ers, most notably Ian Williams, crash into Howe and Strauss’s digital conversation (this is when the internet was in it’s infancy) to give their two cents. Or should I say their 13 cents? The crashers waste no time telling Howe and Strauss what it is like to be a 13er, the good, the bad, and the ugly. And Ian has fun sharing his favorites when it comes to pop culture.

13th Gen is filled with fun illustrations by Robert John Matson, various factoids and lists, and compares 13ers with other generations who were stuck with a bad reputation, but turned out to be pretty awesome in the end.

For the most part, I enjoyed reading 13th Gen when I first came across it in the 1990s. I got the vibe that Howe and Strauss truly wanted to understand my generation. And I appreciated their lack of stereotypical Boomer condescension. And I really liked the crashers adding their unique voices, especially Ian Williams, who used to have a blog I read.

But reading 13th Gen decades later is also enlightening. And it’s interesting how the prediction for my generation played out now that we are in our 40s and 50s. Did Howe and Strauss’s predictions turn out to be true? Well, to me, I think my fellow 13ers need to read this book and make up their minds.

And as for the term 13er? Well, I used it for a brief time, but you can’t go wrong with a classic like Generation X.

Book Review: Confessions of a Domestic Failure by Bunmi Laditan

Meet Ashley Keller. In another life she was working as a marketing executive and climbing the corporate ladder. Now she’s an overwhelmed stay at home mom to eight month old Aubrey. Ashley, of course, loves her daughter, but will she ever get her mama mojo going or is she destined to be a hot mess mom? Ashley’s journey to being a better mom is depicted in Bunmi Laditan’s novel Confessions of a Domestic Failure.

Ashley desperately wants to be a good mom, but she feels like a major screw up. She hasn’t lost the baby weight, she can’t bottle feed, and when it comes to having sexy time with her husband David, well, Ashley would prefer a good night’s sleep. And the fact that David is trying to launch his advertising business and working crazy long hours isn’t helping matters.

Mothers have struggled with feelings of inadequacy since time began. But in the modern day of social media and mommy expert influencers, feelings of inadequacy have increased tenfold. How can mothers compete with Instagram images of designer-clad mamas with adorable toddlers and Pinterest boards featuring homemade gourmet meals and fancy crafts?

For inspiration and in hope of improving her mothering skills, Ashley looks up to Emily Walker, a mommy influencer extraordinaire! Ashley reads Emily’s blog religiously and is a devoted viewer of of Emily’s TV show. Ashley is also engrossed in Emily’s new book Motherhood Better and is valiantly soaking up Emily’s words of wisdom.

When Ashley finds out about Emily’s Motherhood Better Bootcamp she quickly enters and becomes one of the lucky winners. Ashley is thrilled and thinks this is the ticket to motherhood greatness. It’s one things to follow Emily and watch her show, but to be mentored by the maternal goddess herself! Wow! Jackpot! And Ashley is also pretty stoked about going on Emily’s Motherhood Better retreat and possibly winning a huge cash prize.

Emily connects with Ashley and the other moms in the boot camp via several video chats. All of the moms try to excel in the tasks and challenges laid before them by Emily. Despite giving these tasks and challenges her all, Ashley feels like she’s screwing up and compares herself to the other moms in the group who seem to be doing a much better job. Ashley also tries to make mom friends in her community and inadvertently joins a group for breastfeeding moms. What’s going to happen once they find out she doesn’t breast feed Aubrey?

After the boot camp ends the moms collect themselves at the retreat. And this is where things get a big out of hand. And it’s also where Ashley and the other moms realize things aren’t always as they seem. Perhaps, Emily isn’t as perfect as she comes across on her blog and her TV show. But is she a monster? No. She’s just a mom going through what countless other moms go through. Nobody, even mommy influencers, is perfect.

Ashley and the other moms, including Emily, learn an important lesson-go easy on themselves and each other. They’re doing the best they can do as mothers, wives, and women.

Confessions of Domestic Failure is an entertaining story featuring a mom who is flawed but has the best of intentions. I think a lot of moms will relate to Ashley’s foibles and find solace in her struggles. And they’ll also cheer when Ashley has her triumphs.

Book Review: Girl to City by Amy Rigby

I’ve been a fan of singer/songwriter Amy Rigby ever since I gave her debut album, Diary of a Mod Housewife, a spin in my CD player. Instead of being an untouchable diva, Rigby proved to be a relatable every woman. She sang about marriage, the workplace, breakups, and childrearing. Songs like “The Good Girls,.”20 Questions,” and “That Tone of Voice” slipped into my bloodstream and became part of my DNA. What can I say? I’m a fan.

Being a fabulous storyteller via her songs, I figured Rigby would be a fabulous storyteller when it came to her life. And after reading Rigby’s memoir Girl to City, I’m 100% correct!

Before Amy Rigby became songstress extraordinaire, she was Amelia McMahon, the only daughter of an Irish-Italian American family. She grew up in Pittsburgh, a place she felt was neither glamorous or exciting.

Young Rigby’s escape was music and a way of escaping the dreariness of Pittsburgh. A huge fan of Elton John when she was a teenager, Rigby later discovered punk. And through early admission to study art at Parson’s, she hightailed it out of Pittsburgh and ended up in Manhattan.

Rigby thrived at Parson’s and it wasn’t long before she discovered the music scene, spending rock and roll nights at iconic places CBGB’s, Max’s Kansas City, and the Bowery. She saw bands and artists like the Ramones, Patti Smith, Blondie, and the Talking Heads. And instead of just listening to music and going to shows, Rigby wanted to be on stage.

It wasn’t long before Rigby started a band with her brother, Michael, and a bunch of friends called The Last Roundup. They couldn’t quite play their instruments, but being on stage was electric. Rigby just knew she had found her place in the world of music.

After The Last Roundup ended, Rigby formed The Shams. By this time, Rigby and her bandmates were much more fine-tuned and The Shams found some modest success. They even opened up for the band Urge Overkill.

But The Shams never quite reached the rock and roll stratosphere of platinum albums and sold out shows at Madison Square Garden. Rigby spent a lot of time in the trenches of 9 to 5 working a lot of temp jobs so she could pay the bills. But the dreariness of the office wasn’t for nothing; it inspired her to write a lot of great songs.

Rigby also had deal with a lot on the home front. She married dB’s drummer, Will Rigby, and together they were raising a daughter named Hazel. Life was a jumble of set lists and shopping lists, guitar cases and diaper bags. Often her bandmates would act as de facto nannies to wee Hazel.

Sadly, Rigby’s marriage to Will didn’t survive, which she writes about with brutal honesty. But her and Will’s devotion to their daughter remains steadfast and true.

It was the topsy-turvy world of domesticity that also inspired Rigby’s songwriting. Nothing was too mundane for Rigby to write a song about. But soon it was time for Rigby to go solo, which gave us the stellar Diary of a Mod Housewife. Rigby spends quite a lot of pages describing what it was like to record this album, and it’s an eye-opener.

Rigby is brutally honest about the various aspects of her life including spending time in England with a man she calls “The Manager” to her mother’s horrific car crash. She’s truthful about her Catholic guilt and her troublesome skin.

Girl to City is a tremendous read. Rigby writes with exquisite detail and clarity, which makes you feel you are experiencing every moment of her life. You really get an idea of a New York City that doesn’t really exist, a gritty Manhattan and a Williamsburg in Brooklyn before it became a hipster haven.

Girl to City isn’t just a memoir; it is a truthful and touching tale of one woman’s struggles, triumphs, and need to express her unique voice.