Book Review: Breath to Bear by Paula Dombrowiak

In Paula Dombrowiak’s rock and roll novel Blood and Bone we were introduced to rock musician Jack O’Donnell. Haunted by his past, Jack was still tormented by the death of his bandmate, Mia Stone, a woman Jack regarded as his soulmate. Jack was trying to revive his tattered career and deal with a rather messy relationship with his ex-wife Amber and their daughter, Hayley, a budding musician herself.

And then there was music journalist Erin Langford. At the end of Blood and Bone, Jack and Erin had embarked on a relationship as she got to know more about him and help him with his memoir. But this professional relationship couldn’t help but grow into something quite more romantic. The chemistry between Erin and Jack was electric, and the sex white hot. But was their relationship just a memory of entangled bedsheets and limbs? Or was Erin a promise of love and happiness for Jack? Or would Jack screw things up and cast Erin aside like a used up condom?

Now Jack and Erin, and so many others introduced in Blood and Bone are back in Paula Dombrowiak’s latest installment Breath to Bear. And everyone has quite the story to tell in this crazy rock and roll ride.

As Breath to Bear begins, Jack’s memoir, which he wrote with Erin’s help, has been released. Writing this memoir was an act of laying bare, opening a vein, and bleeding all over the page. Jack is brutally honest about the life he has lived, and how it has lead him this point in time. There is no sugar-coating in Jack’s memoir. And now Jack is dealing with the aftermath of releasing such a blunt tale of his life that may freak out his fans, and ruffle the feathers of those closest to him.

Writing this memoir was cathartic, but Jack isn’t exactly in the best state of mind. As mentioned, he’s still tormented by the memory of Mia. His old band, Mogo, busted up ages ago, and Jack is trying to get his solo career started. If only, he wasn’t dealing with a vicious case of writer’s block. Will the musical muse ever visit him again? Sobriety continues to be a challenge for Jack. His ex, Amber, has announced she’s getting remarried, and his daughter, Hayley, now has a musical career of his own. Being all too aware of the missteps a young person can make in the world of music, Jack has his worries.

And then there is Erin, the woman who helped him string his past and his words into creating his best-selling memoir. When they met, Jack thought Erin was just another irritating journalist, and Erin thought Jack was just another has-been musician. But they connected so much writing the memoir, finding layers and layers beneath both of their surfaces, and yes, the electricity between them was smoking hot. But Erin didn’t want to be just another notch on Jack’s bedpost. And Jack was giving her the time to figure things out.

As mentioned, Jack is trying to finish an album he was originally going to do with Mia. And he’s waiting for the muse to help him writes songs and record them in the studio. His relationship with former bandmates is fractured, and the music business sees him as very damaged goods. And though Jack’s memoir is a huge best-seller, he feels like he exposed too much. But Jack feels it in his bones that he must get his revive his stalled career or else.

Erin was thrilled to get the chance to help Jack write his memoir. However, she didn’t expect to sleep with him and possible fall in love with him, too. Feeling like her journalistic integrity is a bit in tatters, Erin leaves her regular music magazine writing gig and goes freelance. She also hopes to figure out what she and Jack have.

Jack and Erin’s relationship is confusing at best. Jack is a parade of red flags. One of them is his obsession with Mia. How can Erin compete with Jack’s alleged soulmate even if she’s now a ghost? Erin tries to keep Jack at arms length (not always an easy thing to do) and focus on her career as a writer.

Jack tries to revitalize his splintered musical career, make amends with his former bandmates, come to terms with Amber’s impending nuptials, and encourage Haley on her music career. He also can’t stop thinking about Erin. Could he be falling in love with her? As for Erin, she decides to take a road trip, visit various towns, check out their music scenes, and write about them. While on her trip, she befriends a talented budding photographer, Sasha, and Sasha joins her on this road trip.

During this time, Erin acts as a mentor and big sister to Sasha. And it’s wonderful to see two women connect rather than seeing backstabbing and catty behavior. And Jack finds out Hayley has been assaulted by some sleazy toad in the music industry, and deals with this piece of shit in the way you’d expect Jack to act. But you can’t blame him for wanting to protect Hayley. The music business is treacherous.

As Breath to Bear reaches its conclusion, it looks like Jack might get his career back on track and Erin just might be the true blue love he’s been searching for, but it takes a lot of soul-searching to reach this point. Will Jack release an album that goes platinum? Will Erin’s writing career flourish now that she’s freelance? Will Jack and Erin end up at the Chapel of Love? Only time will tell.

Dombrowiak has written another richly detailed and gripping tale. Sure, she covers the usual tropes of sex, drugs, and rock and roll, but Breath to Bear also covers family, friends, redemption, and renewal, issues so many of us faced even though the closest we’ve gotten to the music biz is our Spotify lists. Dombrowiak definitely knows her stuff when it comes to the world of rock and roll, and she builds characters that are complex and enthralling. Breath to Bear is a worthy successor to Blood and Bone.

Book Review: What About Men?-A Feminist Answers the Question by Caitlin Moran

Journalist, novelist, a former teen-age music critic, Caitlin Moran has been writing about the female experience for years. A self-described feminist, Moran has covered all things girls and women in both her novels and books of collected essays. However, there is one question Moran has been asked by her mostly female audience. That question? “What about men?” For the longest time, Moran has put off answering the question. It wasn’t until her daughters were asking the very same question that Moran was inspired to ask “what about men?’ herself and she decided to do some homework resulting into her latest book, What About Men: A Feminist Answers the Question.

In several unique chapters, Moran covers men and various topics. These include everything from men as young boys to old age. She takes a look at the bodies of men (including their private parts), men’s clothing, the conversations amongst men, and how they view sex and porn. She also looks at the way men talk to women and friendships amongst men. She looks at men through the lens of fatherhood and how men deal with illness. And she also goes down a treacherous path of men and misogyny in the scary world of the on-line manosphere.

To find out the inner-workings of all things men, Moran first turned to her inner-circle, including her husband, Pete. Now, these men are not exactly a diverse group. Like Moran herself, they are mainly white, cis, heterosexual, middle-aged, and middle class. But you’ve got to start somewhere, right?

She asks these men about growing up, what they talk about (or don’t talk about) when they chat amongst in a men-only group, their attitudes about sex and pornography, and their opinions on everything from the clothes they wear to why they neglect their health. And she gets some very interesting answers. For instance, she finds out why men don’t talk about their penises whereas some women will wax on about their vaginas post-birth.

One frightening aspect of the world of men today, is the world of the manosphere. For the uninitiated, the manosphere (which can be found all over the internet) is a cesspool of misogynistic men who see women as servants and cum dumpsters. They are truly threatened by any woman assets herself, is educated, and lives for anything that isn’t in service of a man. Probably the most famous of these knuckle-draggers, is MMA fighter, Andrew Tate. Tate has horrifying views on women, rape, and relationships. And he’s currently under investigation for sex trafficking. However, Tate does have a huge following, especially amongst very confused Gen Z men. Moran, too, is horrified by Tate, but tries to get an inkling of why some young men might be drawn to such a divisive figure. And on a personal note, Tate isn’t exactly the tough guy he purports to be. He actually blocked me on Twitter for saying he has no chin. But let’s go further.

On the issue of men and pornography, a young man shares his tale with Moran of his addiction to porn and how it negatively affected him when it came to dating and relationships. This could be a good warning that not all porn is completely harmless. Your heart breaks for this young man, and you will be comforted that he’s on the path towards healing.

But not is all lost when it comes to men. Yes, there are horrible examples of toxic masculinity like the aforementioned Andrew Tate. Moran looks into men who are admired for positive masculinity and comes up with names like Keanu Reeves and President Barack Obama. For me, I’d like to add names like the late Paul Newman and professor Neil Shyminsky who I follow on TikTok, and always has excellent counter-arguments to the toxicity of the manosphere.

And just as women are imprisoned by what makes a true woman, men are also locked into tropes of what it makes a true man, and how both men and women need to look past these clichés to be true to oneself. At this point, we’re not really talking about the difficulties of being a man in the 21st century in a way that doesn’t bash women and feminism. These things need to change.

Now admittedly, Moran does not go in very deep in What About Men? She is not an academic or a researcher. If you’re looking for a book that goes more in depth on the topic of men, I highly recommend Susan Faludi’s Stiffed: The Betrayal of American Men. Yes, Faludi, the feminist who wrote the classic Backlash: The War Against Women. And at times, Moran can be a wee bit too snarky and UK-oriented. However, I do commend Moran for actually giving a shit about men and their issues. What About Men? isn’t a perfect book, but it is a start. And I hope it can open up a dialogue about men, what they’re going through, and how we can find understanding and empathy between the sexes.

Retro Review: The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

When the late Sylvia Plath’s novel The Bell Jar was released in 1963, it was considered groundbreaking. It focused on topics quite controversial just over 60 years ago, including ambition in young women in a time when women were supposed to desire only marriage and motherhood and dealing with horrifying mental health issues. Originally published under the name Victoria Lucas, Sylvia’s only novel is still considered a classic in the feminist canon. But how well does The Bell Jar hold up in 2024? I decided to read it and found out for myself.

Meet Esther Greenwood, raised in the Boston suburbs by her widowed mother, Esther is now in college, which is being funded by a wealthy local author. It is the summer of 1953, and Esther has procured an internship with the fictional women’s magazine “Ladies Day” in New York City. Though Esther’s days are filled with magazine-related activities, and her nights trying to socialize with her fellow interns, Esther feels disconnected and empty. She just can’t work up the excitement over this opportunity that most girls would give their eye teeth for. Esther is riddled with anxiety and depression. Can she shake out of this funk?

Several incidents occur during Esther’s internship that Plath goes into great detail to describe. Esther talks about the various assignments for “Ladies Day” the interns get to work on as well as the nice swag they all receive (not to mention the horrid food poisoning everyone gets at a luncheon). She also describes Esther trying to befriend her fellow interns like the flirtatious and sociable Doreen and the very pious and naïve Betsy, who Esther is more drawn towards. Esther also reminisces about the various scrapes she gets into when it comes to men, like when a local New York City radio host tries to seduce her, but later he decides to date Doreen. And towards the end of her internship, Esther is nearly raped at a country club party she attends with Doreen. Esther escapes but this causes her to throw out her new clothing and sends her further into despair.

After the internship ends, Esther returns to her childhood home. During this time, Esther is absolutely crushed when another scholarship opportunity, a writing course featuring a well-known author, does not come through. She is not accepted into this prestigious program. Esther tries to fill her time before school resumes in the fall by writing a novel. Yet, she thinks she lacks the life experience to write a proper book. And she also questions what her life will be like after she graduates from college. Up till then, Esther’s whole life has revolved around academics. Will she have a career or will so end up “just a wife and mother” as the fifties often dictated to women back then.

Esther continues to fall into deeper and deeper depression, not being able to sleep or attend to basic activities. She does see a psychiatrist for a while (whom she doesn’t exactly warm up to because she thinks he’s too handsome). And when this psychiatrist suggest electroconvulsive therapy, better known as ECT. The ECT doesn’t work, and Esther makes some half-hearted suicide attempt.

However, she does nearly die after she crawls into a cellar and takes far too many sleeping pills. When her mother can’t find Esther, it is assumed she has been kidnapped and possibly murdered, which the media takes note of. Once discovered, Esther spends time at several mental hospitals, the last one paid for by her college benefactor, the writer who is named Philomena Guinea. It is at this facility, Esther meets Dr. Nolan, a woman therapist, receives questionable treatments including insulin shots, and more ECT. She also meets another patient named Joan, and it is implied Joan is a lesbian who is attracted to Esther. Esther is not fond of Joan at all.

Esther also muses about her old boyfriend, Buddy. Buddy thinks the two might get married someday, but Esther won’t entertain the idea. Esther thinks Buddy is a hypocrite because he lost his virginity to another woman instead of staying pure for Esther. It is also found out that Joan also dated buddy (even though she may be heavily closeted).

During her sessions with Dr. Nolan, Esther bemoans the life women back then must lead and she wants to have the same freedom men have, which includes everything from having sex (Dr. Nolan suggest Esther be fitted with a diaphragm), and to have a full life outside of total domesticity. And as the The Bell Jar ends, Buddy visits Esther and wonders if he’s the cause of both Esther and Joan going crazy and ended up hospitalized. Perhaps he did have a part in it, but who cares? Esther is relieved when Buddy decides to end their non-engagement. Now she is free to really live.

While reading The Bell Jar, I could understand why it was so groundbreaking when it was published in 1963. It portrayed a young woman who had ambition beyond getting married and having oodles of children. It’s wonderful Esther is smart and has goals her life that don’t necessarily include marriage and motherhood solely. And as someone who has dealt with mental health issues, I appreciate a novel that spoke of one woman’s struggle and her fight to remedy herself.

However, in 2024, The Bell Jar just cuts different. For one thing, there is a lot of racism in this book. Esther talks about the ugliness of Peruvians and Aztecs. She also keeps referring to a Black orderly at the mental hospital as the Negro. He is never given a name or just referred to his profession as an orderly. Plus, I found Esther to be rather insufferable to the other women in the book whether it was her mother (who struggled greatly to raise her without Esther’s father) or looking down on a woman in the neighborhood who is raising a large brood of children.

Still, I do think The Bell Jar is an important work. Just keep in mind how things have changed since the fifties when it takes place, and in 1963, when it was published. And be grateful things have changed for women in the past sixty years…or have they? Hmm.

I Read It So You Don’t Have To: Rebecca, Not Becky by Christine Platt and Catherine Wigginton Greene

The novel, Rebecca, Not Becky by Christine Platt and Catherine Wigginton Greene is the tale of two Millennial age women, one white and one Black, as they navigate raising children, taking care of elderly relatives, managing their marriages, and dealing with the thorny topic of race, bigotry, and race relations.

Meet De’Andrea Whitman. She just left her successful career as a lawyer, and not by chance, and is now settled in Rolling Hills, Virginia with her husband Malik and their little girl, Nina. The Whitmans have moved to Rolling Hills to be closer to Malik’s mother who has dementia and is living in a care facility called Memory Village. The Whitmans used to live in Atlanta and found a sense of place within the Black community. De’Andrea stays in touch with her old Atlanta friends and doesn’t know if she can find a home in the very white Rolling Hills.

Now meet Rebecca Myland. She used to go by Becky, but with the name Becky being used as a euphemism for clueless basic white bitches. Rebecca is a stay at home mom who lives with her husband Todd and their two daughters Lyla and Isabella in Rolling Hills. And like De’Andrea, she also has a mother in law at Memory Village.

Rebecca is thrilled when she finds out a Black family has moved to Rolling Hills. She hopes to befriend the Whitmans, which will allow her to use all the knowledge she has gained when it comes to race as a diversity leader at her daughters’ school and as a member of an anti-racist book club. And it does come across like Rebecca might treat this black family as an experiment instead of seeming them as unique individuals.

De’Andrea is feeling adrift and depressed in Rolling Hills. She’s dealing with the heavy burden of running a household, raising Nina, and being there for Malike’s mother. De’Andrea feels useless without her law career and she misses her friends in Atlanta. Is she going to find a sense of community in the white bread enclave of Rolling Hills?

De’Andrea’s therapist comes up with an assignment. De’Andrea should try to befriend a white woman. Not surprisingly, De’Andrea is a bit apprehensive. She doesn’t want to have a friendship that feels forced. And can she really fit in with the privileged white ladies of Rolling HIlls?

But then De’Andrea’s daughter Nina becomes besties with Rebecca’s daughter Isabella. The two little girls have bonded in their kindergarten class. This means De’Andrea has to deal with Rebecca at school drop offs and pick ups, various school functions, and at play dates for Nina and Isabella.

At first, De’Andrea tries to keep Rebecca at arms length. But begrudgingly, she begins to get involved with some of Rebecca’s social activities and social circle. Rebecca can be a bit too much when it comes to being the “white savior.” And to be honest, De’Andrea comes a across as a bit stand-offish and narrowminded. But at times, it is quite understandable why she would question the motives of a privileged white woman like Rebecca.

But De’Andrea and Rebecca soon bond over similar life experiences. Both are dealing with raising children and elder care issues. Both are trying to keep their marriages strong. And both are trying to navigate the racial and social issues that affect Rolling Hills.

Then De’Andrea and Rebecca join forces to bring down a Confederate soldier’s statue in Rolling Hills. A lot of the town’s people also want to bring the offending statue down. But due to a place like Rolling Hills being in the deep South plenty of the town’s citizens want to keep the offensive statue up because or “heritage” or “history” or some rot. De’Andrea and Rebecca learn through all of this that people are stronger when they work together.

Rebecca, Not Becky, in the hands of better writers, could have really been a fantastic read. It covers many of the current issues we face today-race, bigotry, and social changes. It also covers the everyday issues so many women face-raising children, running a household, elder care, and trying to make their marriages thrive. But in the less capable writing talents of Platt and Wigginton Greene, these issues and situations never go very deep. Plus, when Rebecca, Not Becky goes into some intriguing story lines, the writing just putters out. It’s quite disappointing.

And there’s the two main characters, De’Andrea and Rebecca. I don’t expect characters to be flawless, but both ladies are not likable. Both of them come across as conceited and full of themselves. There’s a lot of name-dropping, slang that won’t age well, and vapid texts in place of decent dialogue. It’s as if both of these women were the real housewives of Rolling Hills rather than fully fleshed out characters who are compelling.

Rebecca, Not Becky is not to be read.

Book Review: A Single Revolution-Don’t Look for a Match. Light one. by Shani Silver

We’re one week away from Valentine’s Day. Women everywhere have dreams of receiving roses and chocolates from their significant other. They hope for a romantic dinner, and maybe something sparkly from Tiffany’s or for those less flush with cash, Zales.

But Valentine’s Day can be pretty brutal for the single ladies whos romantic life is looking a bit barren. Sure, plenty of women will celebrate “Galentine’s Day” of February 13th thanks to the popular sitcom Parks and Recreation. And some women may choose to treat themselves to a dozen long-stemmed roses. But despite all that, even women confident in their singlehood can feel like they are less this time of year.

Writer and podcasterShani Silver feels our pain. She, too, has been desperate to be in a relationship. She’s has gone on a lot of dates, she’s has friends set her up, she’s spent lots of time on dating apps, has had some not so good boyfriends (and ones who were great, but not the one). All of this has left her pretty frustrated. Is it better to embrace singleness and not focus so much on being in a relationship 24/7? Silver discusses this in her book A Single Revolution. Don’t Look For a Match. Light One.

There is no of advice aimed at single women, especially heterosexual women, on how to get and keep a man. Books like The Rules, He’s Just Not That Into You, and Suzanne Venker’s odious How To Get Married, which I reviewed several years ago, all give conflicted and often women-shaming advice on how to nab Mr. Right. There are podcasts and websites filled with advice, too. And spare me all the so-called dating and relationship coaches who consider themselves experts even though their expertise seems nebulous at best.

Silver is not of the mind that single people rule, and coupled people drool. She completely understands the desire to find love. She wants to find love. What Silver is championing is the idea that women would feel they’re fine being single. There is nothing wrong with being single.

In A Single Revolution, Silver fully admits she’s been through it all when it comes to the pursuit of love and relationships. As mentioned, she’s been a lot of blind dates. Friends and family have set her up with the “perfect guy” for her. And she spent plenty of time trying to find love using dating apps. Silver also got bombarded with advice like “Don’t be so picky. Lower your standards” and “Don’t worry, sweetie. You’ll find him when you least expect it.” I bet some of the women reading this review have done the same things and have received the same advice. Yet, getting a ring and ending up at The Chapel of Love.

All of this made Silver feel like a total loser in a world that puts marriage and coupledom on a pedestal. But Silver decided not to browbeat herself, and instead change the framework about being single. She stopped making dating her job. She quit the dating apps. And she began to focus on other things in her life that brought her joy.

Things for Silver began to get a better. She’s still open to love. But now that she hasn’t made that her sole focus, she’s less stressed out, and her world has opened up to new possibilities in her life (like her podcast and this book). She calls out the well-meaning people who force their advice on single people. And she calls out the dating apps for being more about making money than you finding your one and only. So if you got Bumble on Tinder on your smart phone you might want to delete them.

A Single Revolution fully articulates what so many women have gone through when it comes to the dating scene. (One caveat-Silver has written A Single Revolution from the point of view of a cisgender, straight woman). A lot of what Silver talks about in this book is very relatable and will validate a lot of the things so many of us women have been through. And though it is easy to be cynical, I finished reading A Single Revolution feeling hopeful. Being single can open so many new possibilities in one’s life, and we can still be open to love. In fact, it just might help us find the one, and if not, that’s perfectly okay.

Book Review: Until September by Harker Jones

The staid 1950s are rapidly evolving into the upheaval of the 1960s. Kyle Ryan Quinn is 18 years old. And before he matriculates at Princeton, he’s spending the summer after his senior year in high school at his family’s island vacation home. Kyle’s close friends are also with him. His friends are experimenting with drugs and sex, and those things are opening up, Kyle is holding onto a deep secret. Kyle is gay.

Kyle then meets Jack Averill. Jack is reserved and bookish and beautiful. Kyle is instantly smitten. And when these two privileged young men finally meet, they strike up a quick friendship. They fall in love and their ardor cannot be extinguished.

Kyle and Jack’s love affair is quite passionate and yes, clandestine. They can’t let anyone know about their relationship. Even though people are becoming more open-minded when it comes to sex and sexuality, being gay is still considered something to be ashamed of and hidden.

As Kyle and Jack’s relationship intensifies, they wonder how their friends will react if they find out about the two of them. Kyle’s friends, who he has known since he was a child, have their own issues. One of them impregnates a local girl and convinces her to get an abortion only for this brief interlude to end tragically. And another friends is holding amorous feelings for Kyle.

And then there are Kyle and Jack’s families. How will their parents react if they find out? Kyle’s older brother has recently died and the truth about his relationship with Jack may break his parents’ hearts.

Kyle and Jack are soon found out, and the reaction isn’t positive. And just as soon as Jack has entered Kyle’s life, he disappears. Kyle goes on a mad search seeking out Jack. Will he find him, his true love?

Until September is riveting and written with tenderness and care. You truly feel for Kyle and Jack, and want their love to flourish. Now, I will mention that Until September isn’t written with numbered or titled chapters. Instead, it is written is segments, some several pages long, some only a few paragraphs. At first I found this to be a bit jarring, but after I got into the story it didn’t really matter.

Until September proves that first loves don’t always end in happily ever after, but they are potent, memorable, and shape us forever.

Book Review: Life Without Pockets-My Long Journey into Womanhood by Carla Anne Ernst

The transgender community, both trans women and trans men, have been getting a lot of attention, some of it good and some of it quite vicious. Though transgendered people have existed forever, In the past few years transgendered people have come to the forefront of our consciousness. They include people like Caitlin Jenner, Elliott Page, Chaz Bono, and Rachel Levine. We’ve seen transgendered people in TV shows like “Pose” and “Orange is the New Black.” Movies like “The Crying Game,” “Boys Don’t Cry,” and “Transamerica,” and one of my favorites, “Hedwig and the Angry Inch.” Though the trans community has gained acceptance there are still far too many people hostile towards trans men and trans women. Most transgendered people are just trying to live their lives.

One trans person I once knew was Carla Anne Ernst. I met Carla at my Unitarian church several years ago. It was an open secret Carla was transgender. And she was welcomed with open arms at our church. But she was so much more than a trans woman. She was also a talented writer and musician. And I gained a great deal of knowledge about Carla’s journey as a transgendered woman in her memoir Life Without Pockets: My Log Journey Into Womanhood.”

Carla was born to a loving and large Catholic family in Glencoe, Illinois. From her earliest memory Carla knew she was born in the wrong body. She just knew in her very soul, she was a woman. Of course, she didn’t transition right away. She lived as a boy, and then a man for quite a while. She did well in school, played sports, had lots of friends, found music to be a passion, and later went on to college and made a career in the communications field. She was even married twice and had children. Of course, the marriages didn’t last, but Carla remained a devoted parent to her children.

Transitioning began much later, and thus Carla tells us about her deeply personal journey from being a male to female. Carla is not hesitant about telling us some of the good and bad of being transgender. Not surprisingly, there were people who were not particularly thrilled with her decision to become a woman. But fortunately, she did find support among her family, her friends, her work colleagues, and her church community. She also found a collection of fellow trans women for which she could bond with and also have a lot of fun times. And when asked if there was one thing she missed about being man, she said, “Pockets.” Let’s face it, ladies. Our garments are often devoid of pockets. Am I right? But most of all, Carla felt peace. She was finally content with being her true self.

However, Carla is also brutally honest about the hostility and downright violence aimed at the transgendered community. There are so many heartbreaking stories of transgendered people being attacked and sometimes killed for being different. Transgendered youth and adults are often bullied and ostracized by society. Some are cast out of their families and estranged. Many deal with deep depression and other mental health issues. Some commit suicide, including one of Carla’s dearest friends for which this book is dedicated to.

Life Without Pockets is more than a memoir. It is also a primer of transgendered people. Though Carla will admit her story is very individual and personal, she provides interesting facts about transgendered people, which have existed since the beginning of time and can be found in literature, history, and all kinds of pop culture. You’ve probably met a transgendered person and didn’t know it. Carla also provides resources, facts, and figures about transgendered people for anyone seeking information whether they are trans themselves, know somebody trans, or just curious and want to know more so they can support the trans community. Carla also provides things you should probably not ask a trans person, like about their sex lives. How rude!

I’m sad to say, Carla died a few years ago. With all the intense prejudice and abhorrence aimed at transgendered men and women, she would be truly heartbroken. But I do think she’d find hope and solace to all the people who do support the transgendered community. Life Without Pockets is an important and timely book in building a bridge between the transgendered and cis-gendered public.

Reading to Reels: Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret

It’s been over fifty years since the Judy Blume classic book Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret was released to making it to the silver screen. And I’m telling you; it’s well worth the wait.

Not surprisingly, Judy Blume was a bit hesitant about making Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret into a film. And I can’t blame her. This book is a touchstone for generations of women and girls covering topics like wanting to fill out a bra, worrying about getting your first period, religion, family, school, and discovering boys. The film adaptation had to be made with the right touch, and with director Kelly Fremon Craig, and a wonderful cast it has.

When the film version of Are You There God, It’s Me, Margaret begins, 11-year-old Margaret Simon (Abby Ryder Forston) is finishing up summer camp and going to back to her parents, Barbara (Rachel McAdams) and Herb (Benny Safdie),in New York City. But there is a surprise in store for Margaret. Due to her father’s job, the Simon family is packing up and moving from the hustle and bustle of the Big Apple to the bucolic suburbs of New Jersey. Margaret is horrified. She’s going to miss the city, her friends, and her devoted bubbe Sylvia Simon (Kathy Bates).

Just as the Simon family is settling in their new home, Margaret is befriended by neighbor girl, Nancy Wheeler (Elle Graham). It turns out Margaret and Nancy will be attending the same sixth grade class at the local elementary school. Nancy wants Margaret to join a super duper secret club along with new friends Gretchen Potter (Katherine Kupferer) and Janie Loomis (Amari Alexis Price). This secret club has quite a few rules, including not wearing socks, which causes Margaret to get some painful blisters.

Margaret and Nancy, along with Gretchen and Janie, are all in the same sixth grade class. Their teacher is Mr. Benedict (Echo Kellum), and the girls are thrilled to find Philip Leroy (Zack Brooks), a total grade school hottie is in their class. They all have a crush on him. But sadly, the girls also slut shame Laura Danker (Isol Young) for developing earlier than the other girls. There are horrible rumors that Laura lets the older boys have their way with her, and unfortunately the girls believe them.

While traversing the trials and tribulations of sixth grade, Margaret and her friends deal with the various growing pains of getting older. Nancy tells the girls they all must wear a bra to be in the club, and yes, they all chant, “We must, we must. We must increase our bust!” I wanted to get up in the theater and shout at the screen, “Stop! Don’t do that. It doesn’t work. Believe me, I’ve tried!”

The girls worry about getting their periods and once they do, they must tell the others exactly what it’s like. In one funny scene, Margaret and Janie (who want to be prepared for when the time comes), buy pads at the drugstore and nearly die from embarrassment when a teenage boy rings up their packages of “Teenage Softies.”

And yes, the girls are also obsessed with the opposite sex. They get a gander at the male anatomy by looking Gretchen’s doctor father’s anatomy books. And they wonder if they’ll ever be stacked as the playmates in Margaret’s father’s copies of Playboy so they can attract boys. As previously mentioned, all the girls crush on Philip Leroy. And when Margaret is kissed twice by Philip during a party game she is on cloud nine. Sadly, Philip acts like a jerk and later makes fun of Margaret’s small boobs.

Religion is also a central theme of Are You There, God” It’s Me, Margaret, and it’s one Margaret muses on for a year long research assignment given by Mr. Benedict. Margaret was raised without religion, yet has frequent talks with God. Her parents are of different faiths. Her mother was raised in a Christian home, and her father is Jewish. Barbara Simon is pretty much estranged from her parents for marrying a Jew. And though Sylvia at first wasn’t too thrilled with Herb marrying a shiksa, she does come around and is a devoted grandmother to Margaret.

Margaret decides to examine various religions. She goes to temple with Sylvia. She attends separate church services with Janie and Nancy. She even follows Laura Danker to confession at a Catholic parish. And Margaret continues to talk to God. Sure, she asks for bigger boobs, but she also wants to know is she Jewish? Is she Catholic? All of this leaves Margaret with more questions than answers. And when things come to blows when her maternal grandparents come for a visit, you heart breaks for young Margaret.

As the movie commences, Margaret has finished sixth grade and is looking forward to junior high and is about to go to summer camp. She has learned a lot and yet, has so much more to learn. And spoiler alert. Margaret gets her period.

Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret is completely delightful. I really appreciated that this movie sticks with its early 1970s timeline long before smart phones, Netflix, the internet, and doing dances on Tik Tok. Everything from the clothing to the furniture to the music is faithful to the time period. All the performances ring true. Kathy Bates is a treasure as Sylvia Simon. But Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret is truly Abby Ryder Forston’s film. She just embodies Margaret, endearing, awkward and oh, so relatable. And if you see this movie, keep your eyes peeled. The Judy Blume shows up as an extra.

Book Review: Factory Girls by Michelle Gallen

Meet Maeve Murray. In Michelle Gallen’s novel Factory Girls, it is 1994 and Maeve lives in a small town in Northern Ireland. She has just graduated from high school, and is anxiously awaiting her exam results. Maeve has big dreams to escape her small town, move to London, and study journalism at university.

But before she can do all that, Maeve needs to find a job. She, along with her best mates, Caroline and Aoife, gets a summer job at the local shirt factory. Maeve’s job is hardly glamorous, and it’s a million miles away from a career in journalism. Maeve is going to be ironing shirts at the factory all day. But she’s happy to make some money, and soon she and Caroline get their very own flat.

At the helm of the shirt factory is the very posh Andy Strawbridge. You know he’s posh because he drives a fancy Jag. Being Irish and Catholic, Maeve is a bit leery of the British and Protestant Andy. Plus, Andy has a bit of a reputation for being a total letch.

Andy seems to find some promise in Maeve, or maybe he’s just trying to get into her knickers. He does gift her with the Dale Carnegie classic book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Maeve takes the book. Maybe Andy wants to mentor her. But at the same time she wonders if he has lasciviousness designs on her.

Working at the shirt factory is the first time Maeve finds herself working and conversing with Protestants. She has always lived among Catholics and went to Catholic schools. Protestants might as well have been from Mars according to Maeve. Remember. This is 1990s Northern Ireland. The Troubles were still brewing, and Catholics and Protestants often kept among themselves. And violence was a regular occurrence. So one can’t blame Maeve for being a bit wary of her Protestant co-workers. Though it isn’t long before Maeve realizes she has more in common with these Protestants than she originally thought, and they may have to join forces when things come a bit upended at the shirt factory.

And then there is the Murray family. Maeve and her family are still mourning the tragic death of Deidre, Maeve’s older sister who committed suicide. Deeply saddened, Maeve’s Mam (mother) and Da (father) are also racked by a serious lack of money, and they aren’t exactly supportive of Maeve’s ambition.

During this summer, Maeve starts to grow up a bit and she starts to see there is a lot o grey when it comes to the strict black and white between Catholics and Protestants, and the Irish and the English. She begins the notices the class differences between herself and her friend, Aoife, who comes from a much more well to do family. Maeve deals with family strife, unrequited love, and workplace shenanigans. quite a lot for someone who is still a teenager.

And then there is Maeve’s eagerly awaited exam results. Will her results be favorable and she’ll end up at university? Or will her results me dismal and she’ll be stuck in her small town working a shite job with no future. Scary how so much is dependent on these exam results.

Maeve Murray is an interesting lass with a lot of layers. One moment she’s a partying teenager, drinking to much and cussing up a storm. And then she’s a struggling young woman who seems to have the whole world on her shoulders. But still she’s a protagonist one roots for.

Now one warning. There is a lot of Irish slang is this book that I wasn’t too familiar with. So thanks to O’Lord McGoogle, I was able to look up some Irish slang. FYI-craic means “a good time,” Prods are Protestants and Taigs are Catholics, and weans are children. Also, if you’re not familiar of the Troubles, I highly recommend doing so research.

Factory Girls takes place in 1994, but I can’t help but wonder where Maeve Murray and her mates are nearly thirty years later. Is Maeve a globe-trotting journalist? Is she still friends with Caroline and Aoife? Is Maeve married? Does she have children? I do think a sequel is necessary.

Book Review: The Light We Carry-Overcoming in Uncertain Times by Michelle Obama

Let’s face it. We live in a very complex and trying time. We’re dealing with political upheaval, hatred and bigotry of all kinds, corporate malfeasance, and environmental degradation. Inflation is out of control and a recession looms on the horizon. And we can’t forget how Covid completely upended our lives.

With all of this, we can safely assess there are no easy solutions, are there? But we can gather various tools, to help us face these challenges. And this tool kit, among other things, is what former First Lady, Michelle Obama, covers in her latest book, The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times.

In The Light We Carry, Obama covers some familiar territory to readers of her memoir, Becoming. Obama talks about growing up on the southside of Chicago by two very loving parents who had high standards for her and her brother, Craig. She talks about the challenges she faced in the educational and professional realms. Obama talks about meeting and marrying a certain fellow named Barack Obama and raising two daughters, Malia and Sasha. And of course, she talks about living in the White House during President Obama’s two terms.

Obama fully admits things weren’t always rosy. She had fertility issues. There were difficult moments in her marriage. And we can’t forget all of the horrific racism and sexism she faced as the first black First Lady of the United States (and no doubt, before that).

But Obama remained steadfast and strong. She never sunk the level of the bigots who tried to degrade her. “When they go low, we go high” wasn’t just a line from her speech at the 2016 Democratic National Convention. It’s clearly her mantra and a way of life.

But back to the idea of a tool kit. In times of trouble, we all need to utilize our took kit. Our tool kit is filled with various strategies we can rely on to help us navigate the choppy waters of uncertain times.

Like many of us, Obama was thrown for a loop during the pandemic. She admits she dealt with low-grade depression. One saving grace was taking up a new hobby. In Obama’s case, it was knitting. Undoubtedly, the act of knitting was very soothing (the click clack of needles can be very Zen like). Knitting made Obama feels as she had some semblance of control when everything seemed so out of whack.

Obama also has praise for another thing in her tool kit, something she calls her “kitchen table.” Her kitchen table includes close friends and mentors who offer support. She also goes into great length talking about her wonderful mother, Marian Robinson. Mrs. Robinsons’ “Don’t make a fuss over me” attitude while living in the White House is positively charming.

Obama understands we are riddled with anxiety and feel helpless. She wants us to remember we all have a light within that needs to shine. We need to offer kindness not only to others, but to ourselves as well. Using a tool kit can help us access that kindness.

Part memoir, part self-help, The Light We Carry is written with warmth and candor. It will likely inspire conversation. Some of Obama’s ideas and musings may sound like clichés. But these clichés are tried and true, and serve us well. And Obama offers plenty of resources regarding mental health and accessing affordable therapy.

Reading The Light We Carry made me think about my own tool kit that has helped me in the past few years. There is my family and friends, and my church community. There is my favorite coffeehouse, Rochambo, which a visit frequently. I have so many books to read and this blog. Last year I joined a gym. My workouts are a form of therapy. And recently I got back into crafting, making soap and jewelry.

The Light We Carry is like hanging out with a dear friend, a friend who is kind, supportive, empathetic, and says, “You are stronger than you realize.