Book Review: The Glow by Jessie Gaynor

In Jessie Gaynor’s novel, The Glow, protagonist Jane Dorner is in a funk; her life seems to be going nowhere. Though Jane had aspirations of being a poet, she ended up dropping out of her grad program, and is now working in public relations for a New York City firm. Working in public relations may sound glamorous and lucrative, but Jane can barely care about her work and her output is slipshod at best.

And on top of her less than exciting job, Jane is now without a boyfriend after a break up and due to an emergency surgery, Jane is now drowning in medical debt (something I bet a lot of my fellow Americans can relate to). Jane is trying to hold onto her job so she can pay off her nearly six figure medical debt.

Needing a boost to her career, Jane seeks out something to inspire her so she can publicize it and perhaps save her job. And Jane thinks she’s found the perfect thing when she discovers Fort Path, a wellness retreat. At the helm of Fort Path, is Cass. Cass is beautiful, ethereal, and has a huge following on social media. Her Instagram passages promise wellness, healing, and the ultimate journey of self-fulfillment. Jane is drawn to both Fort Path and Cass, and she believes if she can connect with both of them, she will find not only a higher state of being, she will also amplify her career and keep her job.

Jane makes a sojourn to Fort Path. At first she has a hard time fitting in with the retreat’s strict diet and weird rituals, which includes group masturbation and refraining from showering. But still, Jane can’t help but be drawn to Cass. Cass just radiates self-confidence, wholeness, and true enlightenment. Perhaps if Jane follows Cass and Fort Path’s strict guideline, she, too, will achieve these lofty goals.

Whereas Cass may be the face and inspiration for Fort Path, it is her husband, Tom, who handles the business side of running the retreat. Jane gets closer to Cass and Tom, and often wonders about their marriage, especially since Tom doesn’t exactly seem 100% straight. Is it true love or a marriage of convenience. And once Jane loses her PR job, and finagles her way into a job with Fort Path, she finds out more and more about Cass and Tom’s marriage and the behind the scenes of running Fort Path.

Jane comes up with a plan. She figures with her public relations experience, she feels she can sell Fort Path on a grander scale (even if she herself, isn’t a true believer of Fort Path’s mission and practices). If Jane can put Fort Path on the wellness map and make Cass a major health guru on par with Gwyneth Paltrow and Goop. And to do this, Jane does some rather nefarious and less than savory things that are more about making the big bucks and exploiting Cass, Tom, and Fort Path than actually doing something positive for the the two of them, the retreat, and its clients. Will Jane make Fort Path a health and wellness a huge success and become a huge success herself? Or will everything tumble like a house of Tarot cards?

The Glow is a fascinating look at the rarified world of wellness and the people involved even though some of these people aren’t exactly good people. Sure, Cass and Tom may have an odd marriage. And I’m not a fan of Cass’s dietary and hygienic habits, but for the most part these are two well-meaning characters who are sympathetic.

However, Jane is a walking red flag. Though I empathize with her work and money troubles, I found her behavior towards Cass and Tom, and Fort Path to be appalling. Her exploitation is truly offensive. But I wondered is she truly an awful person or is her behavior due to the huge pressures, challenges, and set backs she has dealt. And I also questioned if our seeking out of enlightenment and a better life via a wellness retreat, a yoga class, or a candle smelling like Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina is a panacea for the true systematic obstacles problems we face in modern society. The Glow prompts us to think a bit about those things.

Book Review: The Gospel of Wellness-Gyms, Gurus, Goop, and the False Promise of Self-Care by Rina Raphael

You’ve done Keto and have eschewed carbs. You invested in a Peloton and go to a hot yoga class weekly. You try to align your chakras and think only positive thoughts. You berate yourself for eating a brownie or for skipping a day at the gym to just “Netflix and chill.” You know it’s a good thing to exercise, get fresh air, and eat right, but at times you wonder if you’ve gone a little to far on your journey to better health, self-care, and enlightenment. Perhaps you are treating wellness, physical, mental, and spiritual, as some type of intense worship.

Rina Raphael understands this mindset, and she writes about many people’s addiction to this issue in her book The Gospel of Wellness: Gyms, Gurus, Goop, and the False Promise of Self-Care.

Once caught up in the worship of being a higher state of being herself, health and wellness journalist and former senior producer and lifestyle editor at The TODAY Show, Raphael takes a very important look at the wellness industry that takes in trillions of dollars. Many of these wellness practices are rooted in positive and effective practices like fitness, eating right, and getting plenty of sleep and fresh air.

However, the gospel of wellness is also filled with far too much hyper consumerism, crackpot theories, and desperate hope for millions of people who want to better their lives physically, mentally, and spiritually. And sadly, there are far to many opportunistic grifters only too willing to take advantage (and a whole lot of money) of people who want to achieve greatness. Though some in the wellness industry rely on encouragement and positive affirmations to encourage followers, many of them manipulate people’s insecurities, especially women. So many women feel so out of sorts these days, whether it comes to work, relationships or the home front. And the pandemic only made things worse. Women are desperate to have some semblance of peace and command over their lives. So does it hurt to buy a $30.00 tranquility candle?

Well, that candle may make your house smell nice, but it won’t lessen sexism in the workplace, improve your marriage, or give you thinner thighs.

The Gospel of Wellness takes a very thorough look and examines the various products and practices that have become popular in the past several years. She looks at how fitness influencers and instructors have become like rock and roll demi-gods and goddesses to their faithful followers. She attends Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP wellness retreat and gives us the scoop on GOOP’s quackery and money making endeavors.

Raphael also explains on why so many women have eschewed so many mainstream medical practices in favor of new age healing methods and advice. Raphael looks at some women’s addiction to eating only “clean” foods and slathering one’s body and face with “clean” beauty products even though there isn’t always science to back these practices up.

And the path to better health and an elevated state of being isn’t a phenomenon of the modern age. People have been trying to obtain these things for eons. The Gospel of Wellness goes down memory lane informing us about different practices people in decades ago did to remain hale and hearty, like the precursor to Pilates, the Mensendieck system, which was practiced in the nude during the 1930s. Or Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound, a “health” tonic from the 1870s, which claimed to cure women of headaches, menstrual cramps, indigestion, and labor pains. And more currently, I can remember the promise of oat bran, Dexatrim diet supplements, and aerobic dance studios. Today there is an app that somehow helps you align your workouts to your menstrual cycle!

There is one issue that Raphael examines in The Gospel of Wellness that really made me think. It’s the idea of “Wealthness,” that health and wellness is often only accessible to people with a great deal of wealth and time. Gyms, especially fancy boutique gyms are quite expensive. Purchasing a Peloton and its monthly subscriptions are quite pricy. Organic food is more expensive than non-organic food, and some people in urban and rural communities live in food deserts and don’t have access to proper healthcare, let alone a gym. Sure, someone can always get exercise by walking but some communities don’t have sidewalks and others are plagued with violence. And if you’re working two, three jobs just to survive, it might be easier to go through a McDonald’s drive-thru than go home and cook a healthy meal.

While, reading The Gospel of Wellness, I got such an education. Raphael has most definitely done her homework. And I must admit, I, too, have gotten caught up in the gospel of wellness. I’m still kind of beating myself up for indulging in to much fattening food between Christmas and New Year’s. And I’m still pissed off at myself for not going to the gym for several days when I had a bad head cold last November. Yes, I know this is nuts, but I still feel like I got off track. Thank goodness, The Gospel of Wellness let’s me know I’m not alone.

Barbara Ehrenreich: A Tribute

“No job, no matter how lowly, is truly ‘unskilled.'”-Barbara Ehrenreich from the book Nickel an Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America

On September 1st, we lost one of my favorite writers, Barbara Ehrenreich. Best known for her seminal book Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America, Ehrenreich was also an activist, journalist, and all-around bad ass muckraker. Her work encouraged us to look at a host of societal ills and ask ourselves, “What can we do?”

I first became familiar with Ehrenreich when I read her books Fear of Falling: The Inner Life of the Middle Class and The Worst Years of Our Lives: Irreverent Notes from a Decade of Greed back in the 1990s. Finally someone was giving a voice to how many of us were feeling in the wake of the Reagan Bush years. A lot of us were pissed off over the erosion of women’s rights, the lack of a proper response to the AIDS crisis, corporate malfeasance and greed, and the growing chasm between the haves and the have nots. Ehrenreich understood our frustration and anger.

As mentioned, Nickel and Dimed is probably one of Ehrenreich’s best known works. In this iconic book, Ehrenreich went undercover as a low wage worker at various jobs. She wondered how anyone could make it on such little pay. Guess what? Many of them couldn’t. Nickel and Dimed shed a light on the difficult jobs many people do that keep our live going, but are never paid properly.

Ehrenreich didn’t ignore the plight of the professional, educated class either. Her book Bait and Switch: The (Futile) Pursuit of the American Dream focused on white collar workers who thought they did everything right but were falling down the career ladder. As someone who spent time in the low wage trenches and in so-called lofty office jobs, I totally related to the work woes Ehrenreich wrote about in both Nickel and Dimed and Bait and Switch.

Ehrenreich came to her career in an honest way. She was raised by two hardworking parents who told her to never vote for a Republican and never cross a picket line. She studied physics and later graduated with a degree in chemistry from Reed College. She later achieved a Ph.D from Rockefeller University.

After she received her education, Ehrenreich worked many jobs-analyst at the Bureau of the Budget in New York City and with the Health Policy Advisory Center. She was a professor at State University of New York at Old Westbury. She worked in healthcare related research and was an advocate for women’s causes.

Ehrenreich was also a freelance writer, having her articles published in The Nation, Mother Jones, The New York Times Book Review, The New Republic, Salon, The New York Times, and Ms. These articles often focused on social and political issues.

Personally, Ehrenreich was married and divorced two times. She was the mother of Rosa Brooks, who is a law professor and journalist, and Ben Ehrenreich, who is a journalist and novelist.

However, Ehrenreich is probably best known for her books, especially Nickel and Dimed, which is often assigned in college courses. Her books focused on a wealth of topics including the America workplace, women’s issues, politics, and health. Her last book Had I Known: Collected Essays was published in 2020 and I reviewed it last year.

I was fortunate to have seen Barbara Ehrenreich at several book discussions here in Milwaukee, the last for her book Bright-Sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking has Undermined America. I was fortunate to have met her and have her sign my copy, and she couldn’t have been more welcoming and kind.

I’m in deep grief over the death of Barbara Ehrenreich, and I am so glad we have her books, which make us think and inspire us to action. I’m sure Ms. Ehrenreich is muckraking somewhere in the universe making it a better place.

Book Review: Had I Known-Collected Essays by Barbara Ehrenreich

Barbara Ehrenreich might be best known for her ground-breaking book Nickel and Dimed, but I’ve been a fan of this muckraker since I read her books Fear of Falling and The Worst Years of Our Lives way back in the 1990s. Ehrenreich has written many books and articles on the struggles of countless Americans. Now she’s back with her latest book Had I Known-Collected Essays.

In this book, Ehrenreich’s essays take a critical look on a multitude of topics, which include Have and Have-Nots, Men, Women, God, Science and Joy, and Bourgeois Blunders. And nothing from the fall of the working class to the high price of higher education escapes her keen observations.

Had I Known begins with the essay “Nickel and Dimed” from Harper’s magazine. Ehrenreich describes her experiences working various low-wage jobs and how she barely survived. Of course, this essay bloomed into the critical and best-selling book of the same name.

In The Have and Have-Nots, Ehrenreich examines extreme CEO pay compared to lower level workers and being poor is considered a crime in some communities.

In the section on health, Ehrenreich describes in horrifying detail about her battle with breast cancer and the breast cancer research industry awash with pink sentimentality. She also takes a look at our shattered mental health system and the “selfish side of gratitude.”

Other topics covered in Had I Known include rape, patriarchy, the state of happiness in women, the attack on science (quite appropriate in the age of Covid), the cost of college, and why being “busy” has reached cult status.

Almost all of these essays ring true in 2021, even the older essays written in the mid 1980s to the mid 1990s.

Ehrenreich’s writing never fails to enlighten and engage me. She’s wise, compassionate, entertaining, and at times, quite snarky. But most of all she is a truth teller. And Had I Known tells a lot of truths.

Book Review: Leading from the Roots-Nature-Inspired Leadership Lessons for Today’s World by Dr. Kathleen E. Allen

“Leadership today is about unlearning management and relearning being human.” – Javier Pladevall, CEO of Volkswagen Audi Retail

You know I like a book when I mark it up with post-its, write notes in the margins, highlight certain passages and nod my head along like one of those bobble-head figurines. Which is exactly what I did while reading Dr. Kathleen E. Allen’s fascinating, timely and revolutionary’s book Leading from the Roots: Nature-Inspired Leadership Lessons for Today’s World.

This book implores organizational leaders (and pretty much anyone else with a stake in the workplace) to look beyond the confines of the physical spaces where we toil to nature and how it can help us and our companies thrive.

Leading from the Roots is divided into 11 well-researched,  and finely-written chapters on concepts like cooperation, diversity, lack of waste, curbing excess, the power of limits and so much more.

Each chapter gives ample evidence on how nature can help worker’s productivity and commitment to their jobs and how simple it is to work these practices into the workplace that won’t break the bank, take up too much time, or distract us from our tasks at hand. Dr. Allen provides ample evidence through both her extensive end notes and bibliography. And each chapter concludes with a summary of the chapter’s main focus and points to ponder and discuss.

Simply put, Leading from the Roots inspired me. Dr. Allen’s lessons are doable, practical and very audience-friendly. It’s ideal for everyone-managers, workers, students and grads, religious leaders, politicians, activists, teachers, creative types, social workers, medical personal, entrepreneurs, and so on.

Leading from the Roots is a great addition to my book shelf. I highly suggest you add it to your book shelf.

Book Review: Becoming Michelle Obama by Michelle Obama

Even my cat, Pokey Jones, liked this book!

Once upon a time, in land called the south side of Chicago, lived a girl named Michelle Robinson. Instead of living in a huge castle, she lived in a modest house on a street called Euclid Avenue. And instead of having to deal with an evil stepmother, she had two loving parents and a protective older brother. Like a lot of girls, Michelle Robinson dreamed of adventures that would take her beyond her humble roots and finding her own Prince Charming. She did that and so much more, thus becoming the history-making first lady Michelle Obama, not only the first black first lady (not to mention one of the most educated and admired, and if I may dip my toes into the shallow end of the pool, one of the most stylish first ladies, in the history of the United States).

Unless you’ve been living under a rock or are so “unwoke” you might as well be in a coma, you are fully aware of Michelle Obama’s years of living in the White House – her “Let’s Move” campaign to alleviate childhood obesity, her work with second lady Dr. Jill Biden on veterans’ issues, her loving marriage to President Barack Obama, and her challenges of raising two children in the White House under the glare of the media. This is a very compelling part of Becoming, and Mrs. Obama is fully honest about the good, the bad, and the ugly she dealt with during the White House years.

However, most of Becoming focuses on Mrs. Obama’s life before her time as First Lady, and it is both extraordinary and ordinary, which I’m sure a lot of readers with relate to.

Mrs. Obama describes these years in rich detail that had me riveted. Her family was firm and loving, inspiring her to be a striver and excel in whatever she pursued. She writes about teachers who supported her from grade school through law school. She lovingly mentions the girlfriends who inspired her, and are still with her today (even if one standout friend is only with her in spirit). Mrs. Obama discusses the various mentors she was blessed with while navigating the difficulties in the workplace. And she’s brutally honest about these privileges and her gratitude seems truly sincere.

However, she also had to deal with the thorny issues of both racism and sexism, and plenty of naysayers who claimed she’d never make it. For instance, one person tried to convince Mrs. Obama that she wasn’t Ivy League material. Ha, she showed this person, didn’t she?

And yes, Mrs. Obama also dishes on a certain fellow named Barack Obama, from her initial meeting when she was his mentor to her twenty-five plus years of their marriage.

But just as Mrs. Obama is grateful for her blessings, she is also honest about the trials and tribulations she faced personally. Prince Charming was sometimes a bit of a challenge and often their marriage was less than ideal. Mrs. Obama also faced issues with having children, finally reverting to using fertility treatments and later giving birth to her cherished daughters Malia and Sasha. In other words, her life is at turn both typical and atypical, one that inspires and one that a lot of us can relate to.

Now, it’s no secret I’m a huge fan of Michelle Obama. However, as a book reviewer I realize I must be truthful of my assessment of Becoming. Not to be gross, but you can’t crap on a cone and expect me to call it ice cream. Thank goodness, Becoming is a sundae of a read and truly exceeded my expectation. It’s both down to earth and out of this world, one that takes a treasured place on my book shelf. I can’t recommend it enough.

Bipolar Disorder Days: One Woman’s Experience by Jen Locke

I met Jen Locke when we were freshman in college. We both shared a love of books, pop culture, cats, political discussion and writing. You best know her as a guest writer whose reviews and various opinions have been published at this very blog.

There is another thing Jen and I share, battles with mental illness. Jen has chosen to share her battle with bipolar disorder by writing this essay. Thank you Jen for sharing your store. You are a very brave woman.

It’s a full-time job in itself. That’s why I’m not working. Bipolar disorder is tough. There’s no finding the right medicinal cocktail and just leaving it. Every day is another self-assessment.

Am I feeling happy? Am I thinking faster than I can keep up? I know that doesn’t seem to make sense, but it’s a unique, surreal experience. Am I talking fast? Jumping from topic to topic? Is it the normal topic jumping or excessive topic jumping? Am I being inappropriately boisterous? Am I confident that I’m invincible? Am I seeking out risky situations? Am I aggressive? Am I getting angry easily? Do I think I have an unrealistic amount of power? Am I scaring others? Yes? No? To what degree? Is this just a one-off? Should I be worried?

Truth is, if I’m cognizant enough to ask those questions, I’m not fully manic yet. Chances are, though, that it feels too good in this state to want to attempt to rein it in. So even if the answers come up as yes, I won’t bother doing anything about it. I want to feel this way. This is feeling good. This is the me that people like. This is the me I like to present to people.

If I’m truly manic, I won’t be able to even consider the idea that I’m manic. Good luck trying to get me to look at my behavior. It’s not going to work. You’re going to have to coax me from that state into being calmer without me knowing it. You’re going to have to trick me into mellowing out. And then I might consider your suggestion that I might have been manic. Most likely, though, I’ll just keep going until I crash. I’ll survive without much sleep for weeks and become productive in ways you don’t think I can. I’ll feel like, and perhaps claim that, I can do anything.

When my medications are right and I’m doing well, I’m pretty even-tempered. I can laugh, cry, and feel much of what ‘normal’ people can. There’s a limit, though. I can’t find that elation that used to make me do leprechaun leaps on the sidewalk. I can’t feel the deep sorrow appropriate in tragic situations. The intensity of those emotions is dampened. It’s probably for the best. Feeling intensely up or down, even fleetingly, may be enough to trigger a coinciding episode. No matter how good the cocktail of drugs is, it can’t prevent episodes being triggered.

Sometimes I’ll be tired all the time for no reason. Sleeping 9 or more hours a day. Feeling unmotivated when I’m alone. I’ll have to be like this for a while before I notice that it’s happening. I’ll skip work. Or volunteering. Or social events. Yet often, to everyone else I seem fine. Sometimes someone will tell me how I appear, and I might listen. Sometimes they’ll ask me if I’m okay. I’ll brush it off the first 700 times. Keep asking if my behavior doesn’t change or gets worse. Please keep asking until I realize and open up. If I catch myself here and get a medication change to help, I can recover fairly quickly from the slight depression. By fairly quickly, I mean a month or two. If this goes unchecked, it will only get worse.

I’ll stop showering. I’ll stay home from everything. I’ll stop reading, knitting, playing with the pets, talking to people, listening to music, and doing anything that makes me feel good. I’ll skip cooking and only eat things I can eat straight out of the cabinet or fridge. I’ll stop going to bed and just sleep on the couch night after night, or day after day. Or I’ll stop getting out of bed and just spend all day, every day, in bed. I’ll think about how I’m a drain on everyone I know, that no one would really want to be associated with me if they knew who I really am. I’ll see my existence as a negative splotch on the Earth. I’ll consider different ways of dying. Ways to make it look accidental. Ways to be sure it won’t fail. Absurd ways that might at least make people laugh. Devastating ways to make other people understand the pain I feel every day. If I feel this bad, why shouldn’t everyone? I’ll hate myself, my life, and everything in existence. Ultimately, after contemplating all of this, I’ll be too depressed to kill myself. Suicide would be too much effort. But I’ll stop doing everything, so if left alone I’ll die of starvation or be forced into some sort of action. Luckily, I have people around me forcing me to stay alive when I’m in this state. As much as I may hate them when they’re doing that job.

I must keep tabs on my emotional state every day. Morning and night. Checking in with myself. Others asking about how I’m doing. If I notice something, keeping mental track of whether it continues (and for how long) or whether it changes. Trying to pinpoint a cause or trigger for a change. Trying to notice if there’s a pattern. If something is getting better. Or worse. Trying to figure out how to fix it. This takes up so much time. And sometimes the mental effort is overwhelming. And I want to do anything other than think about my mental state.

These states have cost me jobs. I’ve been fired and walked off jobs more than I can count. I’ve quit classes. I’ve lost friends because I say no too much. I’ve lost friends because they can’t take the rollercoaster. I don’t blame them.

The cycle happens. Treatment is reactive. It will keep happening. Coming out of a depression I won’t realize I’m getting better and keep taking the same meds. Then I’ll start heading into mania. And at first it feels good, so I won’t do anything about it. Sometimes it’ll break on its own. Sometimes it’ll escalate and send me into a full-blown episode. Then my meds change, and I’ll come down to normal. Maybe adjust my meds again. Then a trigger. Or the meds are heavy on downers and not heavy enough on antidepressants. And down I’ll go, into the deep tunnel of depression. And round and round we go. I’ll quit another job. And get fired from another. I’ll burn bridges like no tomorrow. Yet I will try oh so hard to keep those bridges intact. And balancing all of this becomes a full-time job. And it follows me around. It’s not something I can leave in the office. And then there are all the psychiatrist visits and the therapy sessions. And sorting through causes, learning to deal with them, learning new coping methods, creating new coping methods.

I think the biggest falsehood I have believed about it is that it can be controlled. That if I just learn enough techniques to cope and keep my medicine right, I’ll never have an episode again. But that’s not how it works. Again, treatment is reactive. And living with this is a full-time job. Everything else is a hobby. Maybe someday dealing with bipolar disorder will be a part-time job.

Maybe.

Someday.

Book Review: Practice Makes Purpose-Six Spiritual Practices That Will Change Your Life and Transform Your Community

I’ve long had a love/hate relationship with self-help books, whether it comes to the personal, professional, romantic, and so on. I’ve read my share of self-help books in my life time and I’ve acquired quite a list of the good, bad, and downright ugly.

I can happily proclaim C. Paul Schroeder’s Practice Makes Purpose-Six Spiritual Practices That Will Change Your Life and Transform Your Community belongs in the good category.

In Practice Makes Purpose, Schroeder takes six ancient ideas and updates for our modern age, which let’s face it, my readers, is often confusing, frightening and downright overwhelming.

What are the six practices you ask? Quite simply they break down to the following:

1. Compassionate Seeing
2. Heartfelt Listening
3. Intentional Welcoming
4. Joyful Sharing
5. Grateful Receiving
6. Cooperative Building

Each of these six spiritual practices starts with a singular issue and ends with an actual practice. Between these two points includes steps Schroeder lays out at as the fix, the deep dive, the mantra, and the challenge, which are fully described in all six of these practices.

For instance, in compassionate seeing, Schroeder asks the reader to view ourselves and others with complete and unconditional acceptance. Now, this does not mean you condone someone’s behavior. Some people are just awful but get the “story behind the story” to find out why they are awful before you completely write them off. Compassionate seeing helps us connect with others and realize how we are all interconnected in various ways. Without compassionate seeing we are in danger of unraveling, which depletes us as individuals and depletes our communities.

As Practice Makes Purpose goes through all its parts, Schroeder describes in full the barriers we may face as well as the triumphs we can achieve. He does this with a clear and concise writing style that is practical, empathetic and audience-friendly. Once a Greek Orthodox Priest, Schroeder is wise enough to realize not every reader is a Christian, so he refrains from strict religious terms that may be off-putting. Nor is this book some odd bit of new age fluff that may turn off readers of more traditional religious orders.

While reading Practice Makes Purpose, I was struck how practical and easy I could use this advice in my own life when dealing with challenging people and predicaments. His advice is healthy in it respects our need to be open to others (his advice when it comes to heartfelt listening, “Tell me more” appeals to the writer in me and I also appreciate how he discusses the boundaries we may need to use in other situations. Yes, be open but don’t get steamrolled by others. I also deserve compassion.

What else do I like Practice Makes Purpose? This book is less than two hundred pages. It can be read in day during a binge read. It can be read piecemeal if you are dealing with a situation or person that requires reflection on only one or two of the six practices. You can easily carry this book in a handbag or knapsack, and its practices can be interwoven in one’s home and workplace. I would love to see all six practices used in our children’s schooling (especially in the wake of the horrific shooting in Parkland, Florida).

As for my life? I am now using Practice Makes Purpose when it comes to my self-care, especially when it comes to my mental health issues. I recently took up meditation and six one-sentence mantras Schroeder provide within this book is now part of my meditation practice.

At this point, Practice Makes Purpose-Six Spiritual Practices That Will Change Your Life and Transform Your Community are thee right words, in the right book, at the right time.

 

 

 

How to Be a Redhead by Adrienne and Stephanie Vendetti

Written by the founders of the redhead related website, How to Be a Redhead, focuses on fashion, beauty, hair and skin advice aimed at those of us with fiery-toned locks (both natural and by choice), How to Be Redhead is a primer on how redheads from strawberry blondes to those with dark auburn hair can make themselves look their best.

Naturally a brunette, I decided to become a redhead back in the 1990s, and I haven’t looked back since. I may not have been born a redhead but I really do think I was born to be a redhead. It suits my fair coloring and people tell me my redhead makes my baby blues just “pop.” When I found How to Be a Redhead at my local library I just knew I had to read it.

How to Be a Redhead is divided into several redhead-related topics. First the sisters tell their personal stories on being natural redheads, the good, the bad, and yes, the ugly. Often teased for their fiery tresses, he Vendetti sisters are having the last laugh with their successful website filled with ginger-related gems like hair accessories, fashionable graphic t-shirts and tank tops, and beauty boxes filled with redhead-friendly goodies like sunscreen, hand cream, and cosmetics, and of course, their book How to Be a Redhead.

The next chapter focuses on how redheads can gain confidence in a world where redheads are quite rare and most beauty-related companies, websites and books focus mostly on blondes and brunettes. And let’s not forget some of the bullying redheads face even today when the public face of many redheads include beauties like Julianne Moore, Jessica Chastain, Eddie Redmayne and Prince Harry.

Chapter three focuses on the beauty of red hair and why it should be celebrated, especially by those of us who have red hair. Preach! In this chapter the Vendetti sisters include five steps for finding redhead friendly products.

The following chapters focus on various beauty and fashion issues most redheads face, including hair, skin, nails, make-up, famous redheads, and finally, fashion.

Hair tells us the different red hair colors. Cool tones include strawberry blonde and copper. Warm tones include classic red, deep red, auburn, deep auburn and red violet, complete with photos of various celebrities like Emma Watson and Isla Fischer. My hair is a hybrid of deep red and auburn, which features two of my favorite redheads, the aforementioned Julianne Moore and Debra Messing.

Included in the hair chapter tells us how to figure out if our hair is fine, coarse, or frizzy or normal. This chapter also tells of the best shampoos, conditioners, sprays, gels, styling tools and home treatments for redheads. I like the home remedies because they can be made with simple products found at any grocery store like olive oil, eggs and bananas, are wallet-friendly and easy to make.

There is one part of the hair chapter I do have a quibble with, the hair styles. The Vendetti sisters have gorgeous Rapunzel-like locks and the hairstyles shown in this book reveal this. My hair is long but just past my shoulders. Sure, I can rock a chignon or a bun, but I do wish we could see some hairstyles featuring redheads with shorter hair whether a swinging bob or a cute pixie cut.

Redheads often have sensitive skin, and even though I’m a redhead by choice, I also have sensitive skin, so especially appreciated How to Be a Redhead’s chapter on how to best take care of my skin. This chapter tells us how to recognize our skin types, redhead friendly products and treatments, seasonal skin care and the beauty of freckles.

I’ve recently gotten more interested in giving myself manicures and I liked the chapter on nails including hand and nail treatments,

The chapter on make-up informs the reader of the best utensils every redhead should have in her make-up kit, brushes, eyelash curlers, sponges, tweezers, mirrors and pencil sharpeners. My favorite part of the make-up is the focus on cosmetics from foundations to lipsticks to eye shadows. This chapter includes make-up tutorials. While reading this chapter I also found out that rarest hair color/eye color combination is red hair and blue eyes…

Damn straight!

I usually cringe when a book or magazine tells us “how to get the celebrity look,” so I was ready to dismiss How to Be Redhead’s chapter named just that. But this chapter includes make tips from make-up artists who work with Reba McEntire, Julianne Moore and the hairstylist from Mad Men who gave one of my favorite one of my televised redhead, Joan Holloway-Harris, her notable bouffant.

How to Be a Redhead closes with fashion tips including the most redhead friendly colors, including emerald green, plum purple, ruby red (yes, redheads can rock the red) and various shades of blue, including sapphire, peacock and navy blue. As a hybrid of deep red and auburn hair colors like cranberry red, turquoise, and pink mist are great colors for me. Actually, this chapter tells redheads there is a rainbow of redhead-friendly colors including fuchsia, mustard yellow, black and pumpkin orange. Redheads should also ignore silly myths like don’t wear green (too Christmassy), white, or neutrals. Hey, if you’re a redhead and love a certain color, wear it and rock it!!!!

How to Be a Redhead is a fun read, while also being informative and charming. I just know I’m going to make some of the home treatments found in this book and take a gander at the Vendetti’s website more often.

 

 

Book Review: Girls and Sex-Navigating the Complicated New Landscape by Peggy Orenstein

Writer, author and all-around cultural critic, Peggy Orenstein, has pretty much focused her career on the complex worlds of girls and women. She wrote about adopting her daughter Daisy in her memoir Waiting for Daisy. She wrote about the girls and their sense of self-confidence in Schoolgirls and the current state of women’s lives in Flux. And her last book, Cinderella Ate My Daughter, Orenstein took a hard look at the marketing of “Princess Culture” and how it affects little girls.

Now we are at the next phase, and it is a doozy, Girls and Sex. Our little girls are now in high school and college and they are dressing provocatively, waxing their nether regions, hooking up, having sex and doing all kinds of titillating things. But are they actually experiencing any joy, any pleasure? Are they having orgasms? In Girls and Sex, Orenstein does her homework, and what she finds out is at turns shocking, depressing, intriguing, heartbreaking, but in the end proves there is hope.

Girls and Sex is divided into several well-researched and well-written chapters. In the first chapter, Orenstein examines how girls willingly choose to be sex objects, often via their outfits, instead of being fully-actualized sexual individuals. In chapter two Orenstein asks if girls are enjoying sex as much as they should. Sadly, the answer is no, not exactly. But they make sure the boys are enjoying themselves. Chapter three wonders “what exactly is a virgin these days?” The answers the girls give you will surprise you…or maybe not. Chapter four examines the world of hook ups and hang ups. Chapter five takes a look at sex and all of its complexities especially when it comes to girls and boys, both online and in real life. Chapter six tackles the thorny topics of drugs, alcohol and rape, especially on school campuses. And finally, in chapter seven, things get real when girls and boys are finally given the straight dope on sex and can fully embrace who they are as sexual beings.

Orenstein interviewed over 70 girls and women about their hopes and dreams, and about their sex lives, both literally and figuratively. A majority of these young women are bright, educated, have promising futures and often consider themselves to be strong feminists (or at least, feminist-minded). Some are virgins, some are not, and some are everything but “that kind of virgin” (I think you get the gist). Most of them are straight, but a few identify as lesbians or question their sexual preferences.

A majority of these young women want to look sexually alluring, which includes provocative outfits, plastic surgery and waxing one’s private parts. Yes, today, young women feel the pressure to look like porn stars. Unlike ages ago, porn easily invades our lives via the Internet. And though there is some women-positive porn out there, most of porn found on-line is very exploitive of women (Orenstein describes certain acts that nearly made me sick to my stomach, and I am no prude). And it is the latter porn that shapes both young women and men and how they should be sexually.

At the same time, the abstinence-only educational curriculum, which includes purity balls and shaming seminars, gives our young people mostly false information when it comes to sex. This false information does nothing to deter sexual activity. And it often leads people to make bad sexual choices, which leads to unintended pregnancies and STDs.

In other words, thanks to both porn culture and abstinence, girls are either seen as “sluts” or “prudes,” and neither words are very apt descriptions to describe the intricate landscape of female desire.

What’s that, female desire? Sadly, so many of our young women feel it is necessary to be sexually desirable but feel no sexual desire. Many women admitted to never masturbating or being strangers with their clits, a fact I find hugely depressing. Ladies, you have this wonderful bundle of nerves between your legs that is made solely for pleasure. Embrace it!!!

But I digress…

Orenstein also goes into length about everything from casual (and often unsatisfying) sexual hook ups. She examines the culture of rape on our college campuses and on how alcohol abuse often leaves both boys and girls at horrific sexual risk. She is also quick to point out, how far too many girls think if they are raped or sexually assaulted they asked for it and how young men often find these sexual violations entertaining, using social media to further exploit the violation of these women. It is these passages that truly made my blood boil.

However, not is all lost for our nation’s young women, and this is explored in the final chapter. Fortunately, there are educators who want to tell our young people the truth when it comes to sex, and their lessons are done with wisdom, compassion, the facts and a dose of good humor. In this chapter, girls realize it is okay, in fact, it is wonderful to both feel and fulfill one’s sexual desire. And many boys realize it is okay not to treat girls as sexual objects and it is also okay to want to find meaning in sex, not be the mindless horndogs they are often encouraged to be. I believe this chapter will be of comfort to girls, boys, parents, and educators. I know I found it comforting, and though I’m not a mom, I’m glad this book was written.