Author! Author!: An Interview with Suzette Mullen

A contributor to the New York Times “Modern Love” series and a writing coach, Suzette Mullen seemed to have it all. She was married to a successful man, and her adult sons were happy and thriving. She even had a vacation home! But something under the surface was amiss in Suzette’s life. She soon realized she was deeply in love with her best friend-a women-for two decades. But she wondered if she acted on those feelings how would they tear up the life she had known so well.

Suzette shares her story about coming out and being her true self in her upcoming memoir “The Only Way Through is Out” published by University of Wisconsin Press, and will be released on February 13, 2024.

Suzette was kind enough to grant me an interview where she discusses her book, her life, and helping others embrace their true selves. Enjoy!

Many people realize from a young age they are gay, but you didn’t realize this until you were older. How did you deal with coming out at mid-life and how did it affect your life? 

This is exactly the story I share in my memoir THE ONLY WAY THROUGH IT OUT! Coming out at any age has its own set of challenges. My coming-out challenge was that I had an entire established identity and life rooted in the heterosexual paradigm—a husband, two young adult children, colleagues, friends, and extended family who knew me as straight. The cost of coming out, of living authentically, was “blowing up” that life and potentially hurting people I loved. I had to decide whether I had the stomach and courage to leave behind the safe, comfortable life I knew to step into an unknown future. Life on the other side of that very tough decision feels very different, personally and professionally. Change was—and is—hard and life-giving. Finally stepping into the fullness of who I am feels incredible. I may have thrown a bomb into my life and my family’s ecosystem, but nothing was destroyed. It all just looks differently now. Everyone appears to be thriving in their own way.

What emotions did you go through? What fears did you have? 

So many emotions and fears! First I had to learn to trust what I was hearing and feeling inside myself. Was I really gay or was I simply experiencing a one-off attraction to a female friend? At the time I was questioning my sexuality, I hadn’t even kissed a woman. Seriously, who risks everything for a life they’ve been living only in their head? Especially someone like me who had been conditioned to play it safe. I also felt a sense of relief once I came to terms with my sexual identity. So much of my past suddenly made sense, as if the scales had fallen from my eyes. But despite that clarity, I still wrestled with fear: Even if coming out and leaving my marriage was the “right thing” to do, could I actually do it? Could I do life as a single woman—as a lesbian!—and start over in my mid-fifties? I had been with my husband since I was twenty-two. And what about the people who mattered the most to me: my sons, my sister, my mom, my close friends. Would I lose them? For months, I struggled with these questions and fears. I sought advice from friends, worked with a therapist. But finally, I had to decide whose voice to listen to … and the answer was my own. 

How did you navigate going through a divorce at mid-life and starting over? 

First, I want to acknowledge that I enjoyed significant privilege in my starting-over journey: financial security, marketable job skills, and a generally supportive ex-husband. I don’t want to minimize the challenges of divorce and starting over when you don’t have these advantages. But what I can speak to are the fears and doubts many people have as they contemplate starting over—at any age. Somehow as a society we have adopted the mindset that once you’ve made your bed, you have to lie in it, and as a consequence, many of us stay stuck in unsatisfying personal and professional lives. You don’t have to stay stuck. You don’t have to lie in that bed. You are more capable than you think. People called me brave for starting over in my mid-fifties. But I didn’t feel brave. However, ultimately, I didn’t give over my agency to fear and doubt. I didn’t let fear stop me from taking the first step and the next and the next. And on those days when fear and doubt threatened to overcome me, I called out for help and the universe responded. Friends took me in. Unexpected possibilities opened up. Synchronicities unfolded. It turns out I did have what I needed to start over. 

How did your career as a writing coach help you write your memoir? What advice would you give to others wanting to write a memoir? 

As a writer, I saw how valuable it was to have someone by my side to provide feedback and accountability, and to support me when the doubt demons inevitably whispered in my ear. As a writing and book coach, I went through a rigorous training process to further develop my understanding of craft and storytelling, as well as my knowledge of the publishing landscape. This training, as well as my ongoing work with writers, gave me the tools I needed to write a book I am proud of and land a book deal with a publisher who valued my story. The advice I’d give to people wanting to write a memoir comes from my own writing journey:

• Writing a memoir is an act of bravery. It’s vulnerable and scary. Make sure you take care of yourself and have a support system in place as you dig into your past, especially if you are writing about trauma.
• Be patient. Meaningful memoirs aren’t written in thirty days, despite what you might have heard on the internet!
• Your story is not the things that happened to you; it’s the meaning you make of those events. Keep digging until you discover the real story you were meant to tell.
• Get support. No one writes a book alone. Support can come in many forms: a writing partner, a writing group, or a writing coach. 
• Finally, your story matters. I hope you’ll write it. Someone out there needs to read it.

How do you hope your experience and your memoir will inspire and help others in the LGBTQ+ community? 

Every day I see people in online LGBTQ+ support groups who can’t imagine how they are going to come out or if they have already come out, how they will possibly get through the messy middle. I hope my memoir will help these folx feel seen, understood, and less alone, and feel hope that it’s possible to get to the other side of the struggle and create a thriving life. I hope my story will inspire them to find the courage to live their “one wild and precious life,”  as poet Mary Oliver so eloquently stated. To not waste their one wild and precious life living a life that isn’t truly their own. Yes, there is a cost to authenticity, and the cost is worth it. Finally, I’m proof positive that it’s never too late for a new beginning. It’s never too late to live authentically and write a new story for yourself.

Any future projects you want to tell us about? 

Yes! I’ve launched a mentorship and community exclusively for LGBTQ+ memoir and nonfiction writers called WRITE YOURSELF OUT where writers find accountability, professional support in a judgment-free zone, and a step-by-step process that meets them wherever they are in the journey from idea to publication. I’m loving the energy of this community and the growth I’m seeing in my writers, and I invite anyone who might be interested in joining the mentorship to please reach out. I’m also at the early stages of outlining my next book, which will be a memoir about how to hold grief and joy together after a big leap. What I’ve discovered is that when you are living authentically in your personal life it spills over to your professional life. That certainly has been the case for me. I’m thriving professionally in my sixties more than in any other decade of my life. Another reminder that it’s never too late!

Book Review: Late Bloomer-Finding My Authentic Self at Midlife by Melissa Giberson

There is this idea that gay people knew they were gay from a very young age. Some were able to grasp their sexual orientation in their youth, where others were deeply in the closet for a long time. But there are also people who don’t truly realize they are gay until they are much older. Actors Meredith Baxter and Kelly McGillis came out when they were middle-aged and after they had been married to men and had children.

Not so famous, but with an important story to tell is Melissa Giberson, whose memoir Late Bloomer: Finding My Authentic Self at Midlife speaks her truth from being a married mom of two to an open lesbian happy in her truth and all the messiness and adversity in-between.

Melissa Giberson was in her gym’s locker room when she found herself captivated by a naked women applying lotion to her legs. This wasn’t a simple glance. No, Giberson was absolutely mesmerized by this woman, which caused her to ask herself, “Am I gay?”

Giberson was in her mid forties, married to her husband for nearly two decades, a devoted mother to a daughter and a son, and working as an occupational therapist. She thought she had ticked off all the boxes of adulthood. She obtained a college degree. She married a man. She had two children. And she had a good job. But why were these feelings bubbling within her? Why was she having amorous feelings towards women?

Then she met a woman named Raia, a patient at her therapy practice. A simple kiss with Raia awakened more underlining feelings and they began an affair. Giberson’s marriage to her husband wasn’t exactly hot and heavy, and she was busy with the minutiae of work, running her household, and preparing for her daughter’s bat mitzvah. This affair was a spark that inspired Giberson to learn more about her budding sexuality, realizing that maybe she had been gay all along.

Giberson, needing to understand more about what she was going through, sought out answers. She went to therapy and spoke to rabbis. And she also consulted the internet to figure more things out about being a lesbian. Still, Giberson wanted to stay true to her marriage even if it was rocky, and at the same time, she was truly envious of those who were out of the closet and embracing their true sexual orientation.

But it wasn’t long before Giberson realized she had to be true to herself. She came out to her family. Needless to say, they were gobsmacked. And Giberson and her husband began divorce proceedings. Not surprisingly, the divorce was less than amicable. And though you want Giberson to embrace her sexual orientation, you also understand her husband’s anger and bitterness. Also, being a child of divorce herself, Giberson was especially protective of her children. She didn’t want to hurt anyone.

Slowly, but surely, Giberson began accept being a lesbian and found friendship and acceptance among the LGBTQ community. And it was one woman, Vivian, who helped Giberson claim her true self despite the chaos of her divorce and navigating the dating world as a lesbian.

In the end, Giberson comes out whole and happy, but wise to the way one’s decisions can affect others and well as oneself. Late Bloomer is a memoir that is introspective and honest, and gets to the heart of accepting yourself as you truly are, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Book Review: Mrs. Everything by Jennifer Weiner

In Jennifer Weiners expansive novel Mrs. Everything, she tells the intricate tale of two very different sisters and their lives change, diverge, and merge together from the staid and sober 1950s through the upheaval of the 1960s and 1970s and onto the modern day.

Meet the Kaufman sisters, Josette (Jo) and Elizabeth (Bethie). Despite being related, Joe and Bethie couldn’t be any more dissimilar. Jo is a tomboy who loves to tell wild tales and dreams of travel and adventure. Bethie is pretty and charming. She loves singing and acting in both school and temple productions, and seems destined to be the proper wife and mother.

But as they grow older and come of age, Jo and Bethie’s lives take completely contradictory paths. Jo gets married, has three girls, and tries to be the proper and contented suburban housewife. Meanwhile, Bethie goes off the rails, gets involved in the counterculture, and ends up living in a commune.

Jo and Bethie’s story begins in the 1950s where they are being raised by their widowed mother in Detroit. Both have deep, dark secrets. Jo is a lesbian and she is trying desperately to keep this hidden. And Bethie is being molested by a very sleazy uncle.

It’s when both girls go to college their lives take unexpected twists and turns. Jo has an affair with the love of her life, Shelly, who later breaks Jo’s heart when she marries a man. Jo gets involved in the civil rights movement and other social issues. After graduation, she wants to be a world traveler. Bethie, on the other hand, finds flirting and having a boyfriend more important than studying and getting good grades. And she becomes quite the campus party girl.

But tragedy hits Bethie when she is brutally raped and ends up pregnant. Jo, who is now traveling overseas, cuts her vacation short, comes back to the States, and helps Bethie procure an illegal abortion. This becomes a secret that must remain only with the sisters.

As the 1960s turn into the 1970s, the Kaufman sisters’ live take on more disparate turns. Despite being gay, Jo marries a man, has three daughters, and struggles to find contentment in suburbia. Bethie is fully entrenched in the counterculture, belongs to a commune, but finds success selling homemade jam.

The go-go yuppie 1980s arrive, and both Jo and Bethie discover they have an entrepreneurial spirit. Jo has started teaching the neighborhood ladies fitness routines and aerobics. Bethie goes from the counterculture to boss babe when her jam making business takes off.

Jo and Bethie’s personal lives also go through some changes. Jo finds out her husband is cheating on her with one of her (former) best friends, and goes through a very messy divorce. And Bethie finally settles down with an old high school friend. However, she and her husband do face some hostility due to Bethie being white and Jewish, and her husband being Black and the son of a preacher.

As the 1990s and the 21st century come around, the Kaufman sisters are still facing challenges but all come to grips with their lives and the women they have become. Jo may even find love again with someone from her past, and Bethie’s marriage is in it for the long haul.

For the most part, I appreciated how Weiner captured the changing lives of women from the 1950s to the modern age through the lives of Jo and Bethie. However, I do have one quibble. The section that takes place when both sisters are at college was really off. I wasn’t around in 1962, but I hardly think boys back then were wearing their hair past their shoulders, girls were adorned in hippie-like outfits, people were protesting the Vietnam War, and hard drugs ran rampant. These scenarios seemed more out of the late 1960s, than the early 1960s. This was a glaring misstep on Weiner’s part.

Still, Mrs. Everything is a very engrossing read with two very fascinating characters.

Book Review: Mary Jane by Jessica Anya Blau

It is the summer of 1975 and Mary Jane is 14 years old. She lives with her lawyer father and homemaker mother in an upscale Baltimore neighborhood. Shy, naïve, and lacking a huge group of friends, Mary Jane’s life consists of going to her parents upper crust country Waspy country club, attending church services and singing in the choir, listening to Broadway show tunes (rock and roll is verboten), and helping her mother make the nightly dinner. But Mary Jane’s life is about to go through a huge transformation in some major ways in Jessica Anya Blau’s superb novel Mary Jane.

Mary Jane procures a job acting as a nanny for the Dr. and Mrs. Cone’s daughter, Izzy. Because Dr. Cone is a psychiatrist and he and his family live in the neighborhood, Mary Jane’s mother assumes they are the “right people” so she initially has no problems with Mary Jane’s new job.

But the Cones couldn’t be any different the Mary Jane’s family. Whereas Mary Jane has grown up in a household with with rigid ideas and rules, the Cone family is free-spirited, raucous, and quite sloppy. Dr. Cone works from home, and though Mrs. Cone is a homemaker she doesn’t do a whole lot of homemaking. She doesn’t cook, the house is cluttered, and the refrigerator is filled with food that has seen better days. However, Mrs. Cone is kind, friendly, open-minded, and like her husband, clearly loves her daughter, Izzy. The Cone family makes Mary Jane feel completely welcome from the moment she enters their house.

The Cones are about to have some special guests at their house, Jimmy and Sheba. Jimmy is a mega rock star and Sheba is an actress who once had a top-rated TV show. Jimmy is a drug addict, and he and Sheba are hoping Dr. Cone can help Jimmy with his addiction and get back on the right path even though the 1970s was a time of debauchery. Sex, drugs, and rock and roll were truly a thing.

Though Mary Jane is sheltered, she is aware of Jimmy and Sheba and how famous they are. And she’s about to get a glimpse behind the curtain of glitter and glamour that is celebrity. She learns about what it’s like to deal with addiction, the intricacies of marriage (both Jimmy and Sheba’s and the Cones), and how to take care of a rambunctious, precocious, and clingy five-year-old like Izzy.

Mary Jane is also gets more acquainted with rock and roll, and she is even asked to sing along with Jimmy and Sheba, and they are impressed with her vocal talents. Despite being a bit nerdy, everyone is taken by Mary Jane. She brings some semblance of normalcy to the the lives of the Cones and Jimmy and Sheba. Mary Jane is devoted to Izzy. She also is a whiz in the kitchen, using her mom’s recipes to feed everyone.

Mary Jane continues to get an education while working for the Cones. Her world is changing from a strict black and white to a kaleidoscope of color. She begins to realize how rigid her home life is and is appalled over her parents thinly veiled anti-Semitism (Dr. Cone is Jewish) and racism (Mary Jane’s mom flips when her daughter is photographed with the gang at a record store in predominantly black neighborhood and it ends up in the local newspaper).

But Mary Jane also sees that just because Jimmy, Sheba, and the Cones aren’t totally square like her mom and dad doesn’t mean they are perfect as Jimmy falls off the wagon, adulterous acts are committed, and marriages aren’t always “until death do us part.” And maybe Mary Jane’s mother will prove to be not such a stick in the mud after all.

I absolutely loved this book. I found the characters richly drawn and as someone who is of Izzy’s generation, Generation X, I completely recognized the time and place of the mid 1970s, which Blau captures with utter perfection. Mary Jane was a character I rooted for, smart and sensible, but so willing to learn about different worlds. I also appreciated how Blau didn’t turn Mary Jane’s story into a cliché, getting hooked on drugs or getting seduced by either Jimmy or Dr. Cone. Mary Jane is a wonderfully original and entertaining coming-of-age story.

I Read It So You Don’t Have To: Bookworm by Robin Yeatman

When I came across Robin Yeatman’s novel Bookworm at my local library, I thought I had come across my ideal book, a story about a woman who escapes into the world of books when real life isn’t so great. Bookworm turned out to be this book.

Meet our protagonist Victoria. She works a few days a week as a massage therapist at a local spa. She sees her job as a dead-end, almost beneath her, but doesn’t have the ambition to find a new job.

But why should she? Victoria is married to Eric, a prosperous high-powered attorney who is currently trying to make partner at his firm. He’s totally stressed out, and of course, brings his stress home.

As Bookworm begins, Victoria and Eric have hit a rough patch in their marriage. The two (not) love birds are totally unsuited for each other. In fact, their marriage seems more like it was arranged by Victoria’s in-laws and her hyper-careerist, status-seeking parents.

To escape the daily grind of her loveless marriage and her crappy job, Victoria loses herself in books. While at one of her favorite cafes, she notices a handsome man reading the same book she is, incidentally a book she hates. Victoria decides right then and there that this fellow reader is her soulmate. She must be with him.

However, there is one thing standing in her way. That’s right, her husband Eric. Victoria goes into the most nefarious areas of her mind and fantasizes about Eric’s deadly demise. She even messes with Eric’s car. And even though Eric could have died in a car crash, he doesn’t quite figure out Victoria wants him dead. Despite being a highly-educated lawyer, Eric doesn’t come across as very bright.

Throughout all of this, Victoria fantasizes about the man she saw at the care. She even has weird nocturnal trysts with him through some oddball astral projection. Huh?

However, Victoria’s fantasies about this mystery man come to fruition when she has a chance meeting with him. The man in question is named Luke, and he is a woodworker with his own shop. Victoria and Luke get to know each other, and she even buys a huge book shelf from him thinking Eric won’t notice. Victoria and Luke soon start a clandestine affair, Victoria telling Luke that she’s going through a divorce. Of course, Victoria is still married to Eric. And instead of asking Eric for a divorce, she is imagining him suffering some awful death. She definitely wants him dead after gets proof Eric might be having an affair with her ditzy, breast-implanted friend, Holly.

Will Victoria divorce Eric? Will Eric fall into a volcano? Will Victoria and Luke end up being a true-blue couple?

Egad, who cares? I sure don’t. While reading Bookworm, I couldn’t give damn about Victoria and her predicament. I’m all for flawed characters, but Victoria is such a drip. She’s not the kind of protagonist you can root for. Victoria has all the depth of a kiddie pool and is very bitchy and judgmental towards others when it came to their looks. I got rather peeved of Victoria making rude observations about uni-boobs, dandruff in people’s hair, pilled clothing, and if I read about Eric’s puffy nipples one more time, I was going to projectile vomit.

Speaking of Eric, when it comes to him and Victoria, these two people didn’t even seem to like each other let alone love each other. Marriages often hit rocky moments and some are better off ending, but Victoria and Eric should have never made a pit stop at the Chapel of Love.

As for Victoria’s new love with Luke? I’m sure Victoria would have grown bored of him, find him riddled with too many faults, and would have pondered his demise.

Bookworm just couldn’t make up its mind if it was chick lit, a dark comedy, or a combo platter of the two. No matter what, it’s just not well written enough for me to give a shit. Unfortunately, Bookworm is more worm than book.

Retro Review: Memoirs of an Ex-Prom Queen by Alix Kates Shulman

When Alix Kates Shulman’s 1972 novel came out it was considered shocking and groundbreaking. It covered topics women coming of age in the mid-20th century weren’t supposed to talk about, let alone experience. These topics included premarital sex, adultery, abortion, and divorce. Though shocking over 50 years ago, Memoirs of an Ex-Prom Queen is thought in some circles to be a feminist classic. Intrigued, I decided to read Memoirs of an Ex-Prom Queen, and try to figure out why it’s so cherished among some readers.

Meet Sasha Davis. She is coming of age in Ohio during the 1950s and 1960s. She growing up in Ohio, and lives a very comfortable middle class suburb, and is beloved by her parents. For young Sasha, being beautiful and attracting a man is of utmost importance. Fortunately, she’s pretty and popular. She is at no loss finding suitors, and when she is crowned queen at the dance, Sasha feels she’s reached the the highest of heights.

After high school graduation, Sasha goes to college. Having lost her virginity to a high school boyfriend, Sasha has her fair share of lovers, including a much older and married professor. There are times Sasha acts as if the professor’s wife is a mere nuisance, not the one who is actually being cheated on.

Sasha marries her first husband, but marriage does not fulfill her in the way she wants and she cheats on him continuously. After their divorce, she marries once again, and on the surface things look great, especially after Sasha has two daughters and tries to play the contented housewife. But looks can be deceiving, and despite having a loving new husband and two healthy and happy little girls, you get the idea that something is amiss in Sasha’s life. And you wonder if this marriage will also end up in divorce, especially when Sasha’s best friend from college, Roxanne, leaves her husband (they “had” to get married because Roxanne was pregnant and it was still a time of shotgun weddings and legal abortions).

Sasha is no dummy. She’s educated and curious, and fortunately lives in New York City where she has access to museums, libraries and other intellectual pursuits. Still, being beautiful and having a man is of utmost importance to her, no matter how poorly some guy may treat her or how less than enthused she was by a lover.

For the most part, I liked Memoirs of an Ex-Prom Queen. Kates Shulman is a very detailed writer of a time I only know from history books and binge watching “Mad Man.” Kates Shulman is quite thorough of a time when women were only supposed to aspire to be devoted wives and mothers in pursuit of that perfect pot roast recipe. Things like divorce, pre-marital sex, adultery, STDs, and back alley abortions were talked about in hushed tones if at all. But all of these things are covered thoroughly in Memoirs of an Ex-Prom Queen. And though Sasha is quite the flawed protagonist and doesn’t seem to show a lot of growth from her teen years to her thirties, you can understand why this book was so damn shocking when it was released just over 50 years ago. Though I don’t think Memoirs of an Ex-Prom Queen is the feminist achievement some people have claimed it to be, I do think it’s an important book that captures a zeitgeist of some women of that time period.

Book Review: I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman by Nora Ephron

It was such a loss when Nora Ephron died in 2012. Ms. Ephron is mostly known for writing movie scripts for films like Silkwood and the rom com classic, When Harry Met Sally. She was also a director who directed films like You’ve Got Mail and Julie and Julia. Ephron also wrote the novel Heartburn, which was closely based on her messed up marriage to journalist Carl Bernstein and was later made into a movie starring Jack Nicholson and Meryl Streep.

But before all that, Ephron was a journalist and she wrote several books filled with essay about the female condition. Her essay, “A Few Words About Breasts” is iconic.

In 2006, Ephron published I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman.” In this book, Ephron opines about entering her dotage and all that getting older entails.

In the opening essay, the same as the title of the book, Ephron is not happy about her neck. A woman can get a face lift and use fancy creams costing 150 bucks. But your wrinkly, spotted neck is going to give away your age, sweetie. Sure, you can complain about your neck. But you can also cover it up with a turtleneck sweater or a pretty scarf.

Ephron continues this theme in her essay “Maintenance.” She muses about all the products we use in order to maintain glossy hair, smooth skin, and a taut body. We need day cream and we need night cream. And don’t forget about eye cream. A long time there was just shampoo. Now my bathroom contains shampoo and conditioner for color treated hair, a deep conditioner, and a color enhancer for my dyed red hair.

Ephron tells us about her time working as an intern in the Kennedy White House. No, she didn’t have an affair with him. He barely noticed her. Ephron is also candid when discussing marriage and the varied stages on parenthood. Ephron talks about finding the perfect apartment and finding the perfect strudel in New York City.

But my one favorite essays in I Feel Bad About My Neck is “Rapture.” No, this isn’t the type of rapture Evangelical Christians warn us about. Ephron was Jewish. I was raised Catholic. We don’t do the rapture. No, instead, Ephron talks about the rapture of reading and finding a treasured book. Being such a great writer, I’m not surprised Ephron was a voracious reader. In “Rapture” talks about her favorite books from childhood onto her adult life.

I Feel About My Neck is a charming, intimate, and quick read. If you are a fan of relatable essays and funny ladies, you should probably pick up I Feel Bad About My Neck. Though unfortunately, Nora Ephron is no longer with us, she had left us a legacy of books and films to treasure.

Book Review: Paris by the Book by Liam Callanan

When I came across Paris by the Book by Milwaukee writer Liam Callanan, I was immediately charmed. What could be more delightful than a bookstore in Paris and the people in involved especially when the main protagonists are from Milwaukee like me?

Well, it’s true you can’t judge a book by its cover, and Paris by the Book is a bit of disappointment.

This is a story of Leah Eady and her daughters Ellie and Daphne, who are trying to get over the disappearance of their husband and father Robert. Robert was always an odd duck, an eccentric novelist with one best selling book. At first, Leah and the girls weren’t too upset. Robert was known to leave the household on his various “writer-aways.” But this time it was different. Leah knew she had to find him. And when she discovers plane tickets to Paris for her and the girls left by Robert, she knew they had to fly off to the city of light. Perhaps they’d find more clues on Robert’s disappearance and perhaps, Robert himself.

Paris had a special place in Leah’s heart. She and Robert bonded for their love of French culture. Leah, a budding filmmaker when the couple meet in Milwaukee, had a serious love for the film and book The Red Balloon. And Robert was quite fond of the Madeline books. They often talk of going to Paris, but had to settle for traveling to Paris, Wisconsin.

Once in Paris, Leah comes across an English language bookstore and promptly buys it. Ellie and Daphne attend school in Paris, and go on all kinds of adventures. And with their mom, meet new people and make new friends.

Yet, Robert is never far from their hearts and minds. They keep thinking they seem him while in France, but is it all an illusion. Are they seeing him because they are hoping he’s still alive? And what will happen if they find him…or don’t.

This all should have been quite interesting for me. I truly wanted to root for Leah. Yet, I couldn’t. For some reason I couldn’t connect with Leah. She just wasn’t written in a relatable way. I did like the kids, so perhaps a book about these two interesting and resilient kids would have meant more to me.

As for Robert. He was jerk. I despised what he did to his family. And after awhile, I questioned Leah’s devotion to him.

The story is written in a choppy, yet meandering way that made it difficult to follow and get engrossed in. Paris by the Book should have been a book that j’adore. Too bad j’don’t.

Book Review: Never Stop Dancing by John Robinette and Robert Jacoby

It is said April is the cruelest month and for John Robinette this is true. In April of 2010 he lost his wife Amy.

When it comes to losing a spouse there are countless books about and by widows by not a whole lot about widowers. The only two I can think of are books written by Rob Sheffield and Mathias Freese.

Now there is another: Never Stop Dancing.

Divided into four parts named in the four seasons starting in the summer after Robinette lost his treasured wife Amy and it’s aftermath.

Encouraged by his friend Jacoby, Robinette was asked to share his experience as an act of therapy and healing and Never Stop Dancing conveys both of their stories.

Robinette goes into heartbreaking detail about losing Amy from her sudden demise to moving on finding someone new to love like planning her funeral, cancelling her credit cards, to experiencing the stages of grief, not to mention being a single dad to two boys deeply entrenched in their own grief. And all of it truly pierces your heart.

And there are tales of why Amy was so loved. Described as Robinette knew her true self, Amy seems almost too good to be true, but one person I wish I new personally.

Jacoby also shares his experience helping his friend cope and his story is also necessary in conveying Robinette’s path of bereavement and healing.

Never Stop Dancing isn’t just about losing a spouse. It is also a story of male friendship.

This book is written in exquisite detail and when you finish it you just want to everyone a huge group hug.

Book Review: Nina’s Memento Mori by Mathias B. Freese

I have no doubt my much appreciated readers remember the name Mathias B. Freese. I reviewed his memoir When I’m Alone.

Mr.Freese is back with another memoir, this time about his relationship with his late second wife, Nina. This memoir is called Nina’s Memento Mori.

Two lovebirds in their.golden years, Mathias and Nina meet in a very modern way-e.harmony.com.  They bond over troubled childhoods, failedrelationships, heartbreak, shared interests, and so on. But they connected the way that knows no age-true blue love.

One way Mathias and Nina bonded was through a shared love of movies. Freese uses various film terms like fade-in, dissolve, close-up, and director’s cut. And Nina’s Memento Mori is divided into five parts:

1. Ticket, please
2. Four Takes
3. Intermission: Tesserae
4. Cutting Room
5. Coda

As a movie fan-especially of the classics-I loved this clever touch.

Throughout Nina’s Memento Mori are photographs. Some are of Nina as a little girl with blonde curls, wearing pinafores and smiling in a way that belies here problematic homelife. And then there are photos of Nina as young woman, slender and, gamine. Her face is both stoic and lovely, determined to overcome her past as only she can. She has a beauty no longer welcomed in an age of plastic Instagram models and reality show manneqins.

Freese writes in a style that is sensitive and compelling, but never maudlin and self-pitying. He writes so vividly of Nina and their marriage that I can’t help but see this book  in cinematic form. Who should play Nina? Then again perhaps Nina Memento Mori is best served not touched by celluloid. I am satisfied to see Nina in my mind’s eye.