Book Review: Everything I Learned, I Learned in a Chinese Restaurant-A Memoir by Curtis Chin

Detroit, the Motor City, has a rich history. Detroit gave us the automobile industry and a roster of musical greats from Motown Records. And if you read my review of Amy Elliott Bragg’s excellent book, The Hidden History of Detroit, you know this city has a colorful past that goes beyond making cars and giving icons like Diana Ross and Marvin Gaye. Once upon a time, Detroit was even called “The Little Paris of the Midwest.”

But to be honest, my first memories of Detroit weren’t always favorable. Detroit’s automobile industry began to flail in the 1970s with the launch of foreign cars, especially those made in Japan. And Motown Records left chilly Detroit for sunnier and warmer climes in Los Angeles. Detroit experienced riots, racial strife, violence, and urban decay. But what was it like to come of age in that Detroit? Writer Curtis Chin knows. And he writes about this in his memoir Everything I Learned, I Learned in a Chinese Restaurant.

Conceived in the summer of 1967 during the Detroit riots and born in 1968, Chin was one of six children of a large, extended Chinese-American family. His family restaurant, Chungs had been a mainstay of Detroit’s Cass Corridor, part of the second Chinatown. Chung’s had been in business since the 1940s and shuttered its doors in 2000. And it truly shaped Chin in so many ways.

By the time Chin was in grade school back in the 1970s, Detroit had seen better days. But it was all Chin knew at the time, and Chung’s was a bit of a sanctuary of the strife that plagued the city. After school and on the weekends, Chin spent a lot of time at his family’s restaurant, sometimes in a booth and sometimes helping out. It didn’t matter that he and his siblings were young children; everyone had to pitch in to make sure Chung’s runs smoothly.

Chung’s attracted an eclectic clientele. Politicians dined there including Coleman Young, the first black mayor of Detroit. The Jewish community liked to eat at Chung’s on Christmas day when most eateries were closed for the holiday. Chung’s attracted blue collar and white collar workers. It attracted drug dealers and drag queens. Chung’s pretty much attracted diners from all walks of life who shared one thing, a massive love of Chinese food.

One thing Chin’s parents did was have their children ask the patrons of Chung’s about their lives and backgrounds. This was great training for a budding writer like Chin and it has served him well. It gave him an education beyond the confinements of a classroom. It didn’t matter if you were a politician or a prostitute (like there’s a difference between the two). You got fed a delicious meal at Chung’s and your story mattered to the Chin family.

As the 1970s morphed into the 1980s, and Chin became a teenager, he became more aware of what was going on, not just in Detroit but throughout the country and the world at large. Race relations were always fraught, economic woes plagued the nation, and AIDS had become a real threat to the gay community. And it was the 1980s, when Chin also came to grips with his own sexual orientation as a young gay man. However, being a gay man in the still very homophobic 1980s didn’t stop Chin from being a young Republican. But don’t worry. Young Chin was more Alex P. Keaton from the 1980s sitcom “Family Ties,” than a member of the MAGA cult.

It was in high school and later at the University of Michigan, where Chin began his passion for writing and learned to hone is literary voice. It was also when he started to face the truth about his sexuality (along with some interesting dating stories), and seeing the true humanity of his Chinese-American family, all their triumphs, their setbacks, their strength, and their frailties. And just in case you’re wondering, Chin pretty much left the Republican party behind.

Chin isn’t shy about telling about the horrible things that happened within the Asian-American community of Detroit. He tells the story of one Vincent Chin (no relation), a Chinese-American man who was brutally beaten and later succumbed to his injuries the day before his wedding. At the time in 1982 there was a lot of anti-Japanese racism broiling, and Chin was assumed to be Chinese by his white assailants. The idea of a hate crime wasn’t really part of the vernacular back then but it was obvious Chin was beaten due to his race. This incident truly horrified Curtis Chin, and he really had to face the racism that could he would have to deal with himself.

Everything I Learned, I Learned in a Chinese Restaurant is beautifully and honestly written. I truly felt I was there in Detroit during that particular time, and the descriptions of Chung’s food made my mouth water. Plus, I thought Chin using letters and numbers often found on a Chinese menu to note the different chapters wise quite clever (though it took a me a while to figure this out-oops). Chin’s story of coming of age, accepting himself, and the legacy of his family, all their faults and their legacy in Detroit truly interesting, and the pop culture references of Generation X truly resonated with me. Everything I Learned, I Learned in a Chinese Restaurant is one to enjoy and learn from, and will probably make you crave some Chinese food.

Retro Review: The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

When the late Sylvia Plath’s novel The Bell Jar was released in 1963, it was considered groundbreaking. It focused on topics quite controversial just over 60 years ago, including ambition in young women in a time when women were supposed to desire only marriage and motherhood and dealing with horrifying mental health issues. Originally published under the name Victoria Lucas, Sylvia’s only novel is still considered a classic in the feminist canon. But how well does The Bell Jar hold up in 2024? I decided to read it and found out for myself.

Meet Esther Greenwood, raised in the Boston suburbs by her widowed mother, Esther is now in college, which is being funded by a wealthy local author. It is the summer of 1953, and Esther has procured an internship with the fictional women’s magazine “Ladies Day” in New York City. Though Esther’s days are filled with magazine-related activities, and her nights trying to socialize with her fellow interns, Esther feels disconnected and empty. She just can’t work up the excitement over this opportunity that most girls would give their eye teeth for. Esther is riddled with anxiety and depression. Can she shake out of this funk?

Several incidents occur during Esther’s internship that Plath goes into great detail to describe. Esther talks about the various assignments for “Ladies Day” the interns get to work on as well as the nice swag they all receive (not to mention the horrid food poisoning everyone gets at a luncheon). She also describes Esther trying to befriend her fellow interns like the flirtatious and sociable Doreen and the very pious and naïve Betsy, who Esther is more drawn towards. Esther also reminisces about the various scrapes she gets into when it comes to men, like when a local New York City radio host tries to seduce her, but later he decides to date Doreen. And towards the end of her internship, Esther is nearly raped at a country club party she attends with Doreen. Esther escapes but this causes her to throw out her new clothing and sends her further into despair.

After the internship ends, Esther returns to her childhood home. During this time, Esther is absolutely crushed when another scholarship opportunity, a writing course featuring a well-known author, does not come through. She is not accepted into this prestigious program. Esther tries to fill her time before school resumes in the fall by writing a novel. Yet, she thinks she lacks the life experience to write a proper book. And she also questions what her life will be like after she graduates from college. Up till then, Esther’s whole life has revolved around academics. Will she have a career or will so end up “just a wife and mother” as the fifties often dictated to women back then.

Esther continues to fall into deeper and deeper depression, not being able to sleep or attend to basic activities. She does see a psychiatrist for a while (whom she doesn’t exactly warm up to because she thinks he’s too handsome). And when this psychiatrist suggest electroconvulsive therapy, better known as ECT. The ECT doesn’t work, and Esther makes some half-hearted suicide attempt.

However, she does nearly die after she crawls into a cellar and takes far too many sleeping pills. When her mother can’t find Esther, it is assumed she has been kidnapped and possibly murdered, which the media takes note of. Once discovered, Esther spends time at several mental hospitals, the last one paid for by her college benefactor, the writer who is named Philomena Guinea. It is at this facility, Esther meets Dr. Nolan, a woman therapist, receives questionable treatments including insulin shots, and more ECT. She also meets another patient named Joan, and it is implied Joan is a lesbian who is attracted to Esther. Esther is not fond of Joan at all.

Esther also muses about her old boyfriend, Buddy. Buddy thinks the two might get married someday, but Esther won’t entertain the idea. Esther thinks Buddy is a hypocrite because he lost his virginity to another woman instead of staying pure for Esther. It is also found out that Joan also dated buddy (even though she may be heavily closeted).

During her sessions with Dr. Nolan, Esther bemoans the life women back then must lead and she wants to have the same freedom men have, which includes everything from having sex (Dr. Nolan suggest Esther be fitted with a diaphragm), and to have a full life outside of total domesticity. And as the The Bell Jar ends, Buddy visits Esther and wonders if he’s the cause of both Esther and Joan going crazy and ended up hospitalized. Perhaps he did have a part in it, but who cares? Esther is relieved when Buddy decides to end their non-engagement. Now she is free to really live.

While reading The Bell Jar, I could understand why it was so groundbreaking when it was published in 1963. It portrayed a young woman who had ambition beyond getting married and having oodles of children. It’s wonderful Esther is smart and has goals her life that don’t necessarily include marriage and motherhood solely. And as someone who has dealt with mental health issues, I appreciate a novel that spoke of one woman’s struggle and her fight to remedy herself.

However, in 2024, The Bell Jar just cuts different. For one thing, there is a lot of racism in this book. Esther talks about the ugliness of Peruvians and Aztecs. She also keeps referring to a Black orderly at the mental hospital as the Negro. He is never given a name or just referred to his profession as an orderly. Plus, I found Esther to be rather insufferable to the other women in the book whether it was her mother (who struggled greatly to raise her without Esther’s father) or looking down on a woman in the neighborhood who is raising a large brood of children.

Still, I do think The Bell Jar is an important work. Just keep in mind how things have changed since the fifties when it takes place, and in 1963, when it was published. And be grateful things have changed for women in the past sixty years…or have they? Hmm.

Book Review: Until September by Harker Jones

The staid 1950s are rapidly evolving into the upheaval of the 1960s. Kyle Ryan Quinn is 18 years old. And before he matriculates at Princeton, he’s spending the summer after his senior year in high school at his family’s island vacation home. Kyle’s close friends are also with him. His friends are experimenting with drugs and sex, and those things are opening up, Kyle is holding onto a deep secret. Kyle is gay.

Kyle then meets Jack Averill. Jack is reserved and bookish and beautiful. Kyle is instantly smitten. And when these two privileged young men finally meet, they strike up a quick friendship. They fall in love and their ardor cannot be extinguished.

Kyle and Jack’s love affair is quite passionate and yes, clandestine. They can’t let anyone know about their relationship. Even though people are becoming more open-minded when it comes to sex and sexuality, being gay is still considered something to be ashamed of and hidden.

As Kyle and Jack’s relationship intensifies, they wonder how their friends will react if they find out about the two of them. Kyle’s friends, who he has known since he was a child, have their own issues. One of them impregnates a local girl and convinces her to get an abortion only for this brief interlude to end tragically. And another friends is holding amorous feelings for Kyle.

And then there are Kyle and Jack’s families. How will their parents react if they find out? Kyle’s older brother has recently died and the truth about his relationship with Jack may break his parents’ hearts.

Kyle and Jack are soon found out, and the reaction isn’t positive. And just as soon as Jack has entered Kyle’s life, he disappears. Kyle goes on a mad search seeking out Jack. Will he find him, his true love?

Until September is riveting and written with tenderness and care. You truly feel for Kyle and Jack, and want their love to flourish. Now, I will mention that Until September isn’t written with numbered or titled chapters. Instead, it is written is segments, some several pages long, some only a few paragraphs. At first I found this to be a bit jarring, but after I got into the story it didn’t really matter.

Until September proves that first loves don’t always end in happily ever after, but they are potent, memorable, and shape us forever.

Author! Author!: An Interview with Suzette Mullen

A contributor to the New York Times “Modern Love” series and a writing coach, Suzette Mullen seemed to have it all. She was married to a successful man, and her adult sons were happy and thriving. She even had a vacation home! But something under the surface was amiss in Suzette’s life. She soon realized she was deeply in love with her best friend-a women-for two decades. But she wondered if she acted on those feelings how would they tear up the life she had known so well.

Suzette shares her story about coming out and being her true self in her upcoming memoir “The Only Way Through is Out” published by University of Wisconsin Press, and will be released on February 13, 2024.

Suzette was kind enough to grant me an interview where she discusses her book, her life, and helping others embrace their true selves. Enjoy!

Many people realize from a young age they are gay, but you didn’t realize this until you were older. How did you deal with coming out at mid-life and how did it affect your life? 

This is exactly the story I share in my memoir THE ONLY WAY THROUGH IT OUT! Coming out at any age has its own set of challenges. My coming-out challenge was that I had an entire established identity and life rooted in the heterosexual paradigm—a husband, two young adult children, colleagues, friends, and extended family who knew me as straight. The cost of coming out, of living authentically, was “blowing up” that life and potentially hurting people I loved. I had to decide whether I had the stomach and courage to leave behind the safe, comfortable life I knew to step into an unknown future. Life on the other side of that very tough decision feels very different, personally and professionally. Change was—and is—hard and life-giving. Finally stepping into the fullness of who I am feels incredible. I may have thrown a bomb into my life and my family’s ecosystem, but nothing was destroyed. It all just looks differently now. Everyone appears to be thriving in their own way.

What emotions did you go through? What fears did you have? 

So many emotions and fears! First I had to learn to trust what I was hearing and feeling inside myself. Was I really gay or was I simply experiencing a one-off attraction to a female friend? At the time I was questioning my sexuality, I hadn’t even kissed a woman. Seriously, who risks everything for a life they’ve been living only in their head? Especially someone like me who had been conditioned to play it safe. I also felt a sense of relief once I came to terms with my sexual identity. So much of my past suddenly made sense, as if the scales had fallen from my eyes. But despite that clarity, I still wrestled with fear: Even if coming out and leaving my marriage was the “right thing” to do, could I actually do it? Could I do life as a single woman—as a lesbian!—and start over in my mid-fifties? I had been with my husband since I was twenty-two. And what about the people who mattered the most to me: my sons, my sister, my mom, my close friends. Would I lose them? For months, I struggled with these questions and fears. I sought advice from friends, worked with a therapist. But finally, I had to decide whose voice to listen to … and the answer was my own. 

How did you navigate going through a divorce at mid-life and starting over? 

First, I want to acknowledge that I enjoyed significant privilege in my starting-over journey: financial security, marketable job skills, and a generally supportive ex-husband. I don’t want to minimize the challenges of divorce and starting over when you don’t have these advantages. But what I can speak to are the fears and doubts many people have as they contemplate starting over—at any age. Somehow as a society we have adopted the mindset that once you’ve made your bed, you have to lie in it, and as a consequence, many of us stay stuck in unsatisfying personal and professional lives. You don’t have to stay stuck. You don’t have to lie in that bed. You are more capable than you think. People called me brave for starting over in my mid-fifties. But I didn’t feel brave. However, ultimately, I didn’t give over my agency to fear and doubt. I didn’t let fear stop me from taking the first step and the next and the next. And on those days when fear and doubt threatened to overcome me, I called out for help and the universe responded. Friends took me in. Unexpected possibilities opened up. Synchronicities unfolded. It turns out I did have what I needed to start over. 

How did your career as a writing coach help you write your memoir? What advice would you give to others wanting to write a memoir? 

As a writer, I saw how valuable it was to have someone by my side to provide feedback and accountability, and to support me when the doubt demons inevitably whispered in my ear. As a writing and book coach, I went through a rigorous training process to further develop my understanding of craft and storytelling, as well as my knowledge of the publishing landscape. This training, as well as my ongoing work with writers, gave me the tools I needed to write a book I am proud of and land a book deal with a publisher who valued my story. The advice I’d give to people wanting to write a memoir comes from my own writing journey:

• Writing a memoir is an act of bravery. It’s vulnerable and scary. Make sure you take care of yourself and have a support system in place as you dig into your past, especially if you are writing about trauma.
• Be patient. Meaningful memoirs aren’t written in thirty days, despite what you might have heard on the internet!
• Your story is not the things that happened to you; it’s the meaning you make of those events. Keep digging until you discover the real story you were meant to tell.
• Get support. No one writes a book alone. Support can come in many forms: a writing partner, a writing group, or a writing coach. 
• Finally, your story matters. I hope you’ll write it. Someone out there needs to read it.

How do you hope your experience and your memoir will inspire and help others in the LGBTQ+ community? 

Every day I see people in online LGBTQ+ support groups who can’t imagine how they are going to come out or if they have already come out, how they will possibly get through the messy middle. I hope my memoir will help these folx feel seen, understood, and less alone, and feel hope that it’s possible to get to the other side of the struggle and create a thriving life. I hope my story will inspire them to find the courage to live their “one wild and precious life,”  as poet Mary Oliver so eloquently stated. To not waste their one wild and precious life living a life that isn’t truly their own. Yes, there is a cost to authenticity, and the cost is worth it. Finally, I’m proof positive that it’s never too late for a new beginning. It’s never too late to live authentically and write a new story for yourself.

Any future projects you want to tell us about? 

Yes! I’ve launched a mentorship and community exclusively for LGBTQ+ memoir and nonfiction writers called WRITE YOURSELF OUT where writers find accountability, professional support in a judgment-free zone, and a step-by-step process that meets them wherever they are in the journey from idea to publication. I’m loving the energy of this community and the growth I’m seeing in my writers, and I invite anyone who might be interested in joining the mentorship to please reach out. I’m also at the early stages of outlining my next book, which will be a memoir about how to hold grief and joy together after a big leap. What I’ve discovered is that when you are living authentically in your personal life it spills over to your professional life. That certainly has been the case for me. I’m thriving professionally in my sixties more than in any other decade of my life. Another reminder that it’s never too late!

Book Review: Late Bloomer-Finding My Authentic Self at Midlife by Melissa Giberson

There is this idea that gay people knew they were gay from a very young age. Some were able to grasp their sexual orientation in their youth, where others were deeply in the closet for a long time. But there are also people who don’t truly realize they are gay until they are much older. Actors Meredith Baxter and Kelly McGillis came out when they were middle-aged and after they had been married to men and had children.

Not so famous, but with an important story to tell is Melissa Giberson, whose memoir Late Bloomer: Finding My Authentic Self at Midlife speaks her truth from being a married mom of two to an open lesbian happy in her truth and all the messiness and adversity in-between.

Melissa Giberson was in her gym’s locker room when she found herself captivated by a naked women applying lotion to her legs. This wasn’t a simple glance. No, Giberson was absolutely mesmerized by this woman, which caused her to ask herself, “Am I gay?”

Giberson was in her mid forties, married to her husband for nearly two decades, a devoted mother to a daughter and a son, and working as an occupational therapist. She thought she had ticked off all the boxes of adulthood. She obtained a college degree. She married a man. She had two children. And she had a good job. But why were these feelings bubbling within her? Why was she having amorous feelings towards women?

Then she met a woman named Raia, a patient at her therapy practice. A simple kiss with Raia awakened more underlining feelings and they began an affair. Giberson’s marriage to her husband wasn’t exactly hot and heavy, and she was busy with the minutiae of work, running her household, and preparing for her daughter’s bat mitzvah. This affair was a spark that inspired Giberson to learn more about her budding sexuality, realizing that maybe she had been gay all along.

Giberson, needing to understand more about what she was going through, sought out answers. She went to therapy and spoke to rabbis. And she also consulted the internet to figure more things out about being a lesbian. Still, Giberson wanted to stay true to her marriage even if it was rocky, and at the same time, she was truly envious of those who were out of the closet and embracing their true sexual orientation.

But it wasn’t long before Giberson realized she had to be true to herself. She came out to her family. Needless to say, they were gobsmacked. And Giberson and her husband began divorce proceedings. Not surprisingly, the divorce was less than amicable. And though you want Giberson to embrace her sexual orientation, you also understand her husband’s anger and bitterness. Also, being a child of divorce herself, Giberson was especially protective of her children. She didn’t want to hurt anyone.

Slowly, but surely, Giberson began accept being a lesbian and found friendship and acceptance among the LGBTQ community. And it was one woman, Vivian, who helped Giberson claim her true self despite the chaos of her divorce and navigating the dating world as a lesbian.

In the end, Giberson comes out whole and happy, but wise to the way one’s decisions can affect others and well as oneself. Late Bloomer is a memoir that is introspective and honest, and gets to the heart of accepting yourself as you truly are, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Book Review: Mrs. Everything by Jennifer Weiner

In Jennifer Weiners expansive novel Mrs. Everything, she tells the intricate tale of two very different sisters and their lives change, diverge, and merge together from the staid and sober 1950s through the upheaval of the 1960s and 1970s and onto the modern day.

Meet the Kaufman sisters, Josette (Jo) and Elizabeth (Bethie). Despite being related, Joe and Bethie couldn’t be any more dissimilar. Jo is a tomboy who loves to tell wild tales and dreams of travel and adventure. Bethie is pretty and charming. She loves singing and acting in both school and temple productions, and seems destined to be the proper wife and mother.

But as they grow older and come of age, Jo and Bethie’s lives take completely contradictory paths. Jo gets married, has three girls, and tries to be the proper and contented suburban housewife. Meanwhile, Bethie goes off the rails, gets involved in the counterculture, and ends up living in a commune.

Jo and Bethie’s story begins in the 1950s where they are being raised by their widowed mother in Detroit. Both have deep, dark secrets. Jo is a lesbian and she is trying desperately to keep this hidden. And Bethie is being molested by a very sleazy uncle.

It’s when both girls go to college their lives take unexpected twists and turns. Jo has an affair with the love of her life, Shelly, who later breaks Jo’s heart when she marries a man. Jo gets involved in the civil rights movement and other social issues. After graduation, she wants to be a world traveler. Bethie, on the other hand, finds flirting and having a boyfriend more important than studying and getting good grades. And she becomes quite the campus party girl.

But tragedy hits Bethie when she is brutally raped and ends up pregnant. Jo, who is now traveling overseas, cuts her vacation short, comes back to the States, and helps Bethie procure an illegal abortion. This becomes a secret that must remain only with the sisters.

As the 1960s turn into the 1970s, the Kaufman sisters’ live take on more disparate turns. Despite being gay, Jo marries a man, has three daughters, and struggles to find contentment in suburbia. Bethie is fully entrenched in the counterculture, belongs to a commune, but finds success selling homemade jam.

The go-go yuppie 1980s arrive, and both Jo and Bethie discover they have an entrepreneurial spirit. Jo has started teaching the neighborhood ladies fitness routines and aerobics. Bethie goes from the counterculture to boss babe when her jam making business takes off.

Jo and Bethie’s personal lives also go through some changes. Jo finds out her husband is cheating on her with one of her (former) best friends, and goes through a very messy divorce. And Bethie finally settles down with an old high school friend. However, she and her husband do face some hostility due to Bethie being white and Jewish, and her husband being Black and the son of a preacher.

As the 1990s and the 21st century come around, the Kaufman sisters are still facing challenges but all come to grips with their lives and the women they have become. Jo may even find love again with someone from her past, and Bethie’s marriage is in it for the long haul.

For the most part, I appreciated how Weiner captured the changing lives of women from the 1950s to the modern age through the lives of Jo and Bethie. However, I do have one quibble. The section that takes place when both sisters are at college was really off. I wasn’t around in 1962, but I hardly think boys back then were wearing their hair past their shoulders, girls were adorned in hippie-like outfits, people were protesting the Vietnam War, and hard drugs ran rampant. These scenarios seemed more out of the late 1960s, than the early 1960s. This was a glaring misstep on Weiner’s part.

Still, Mrs. Everything is a very engrossing read with two very fascinating characters.

GenderQueer: A Story From a Different Closet by Allan D. Hunter

In gender activist Allan D. Hunter’s debut novel GenderQueer we meet protagonist Derek Turner. Derek is one of the boys who is also one of the girls. And GenderQueer tells the journey Derek travels from an awkward and confused teenager to hard won maturity as a self-accepting adult. And believe me, Derek’s journey isn’t always a fun ride.

GenderQueer is divided into four distinctive parts. Part one focuses on Derek’s younger years, navigating the difficult landscape of junior high and high school while growing up in 1970s era New Mexico. Derek deals with the usual teen angst. He’s bullied for being different and struggles with dating. But he also finds an escape through music.

Part two is about Derek’s facing adulthood and the challenges of college, work, drinking, relationships and his not easy to define sexuality. His first foray in college doesn’t go well. He drops out and enrolls in the local Vo-Tech. All the while he’s wondering if he’s gay or straight. He doesn’t feel right in his skin.

In part three Derek is starting over, going back to college. He decides to major in music, his true passion, and focuses on original music composition. Once again he questions his sexuality and gets into therapy and self-help book. It is then Derek realizes he may have been born in the wrong body. Could he possibly be a woman in a man’s body?

And in part four, after years of struggle and strife, our protagonist reaches hard-won maturity. Derek accepts being genderqueer and stakes a claim in society. Is Derek a man, a woman? You’ll have to find out.

Though I found Derek to be an interesting character with an important story to tell, I found Hunter’s writing to be a bit unpolished at times. There are several spelling errors and quite a few run on sentences. However, this could be due to a lack of writing experience and GenderQueer could be made better with a good copy editor to give it more finesse.

Still, I’m impressed that Hunter believed this story should be written. GenderQueer is a book that will resonate within the LGBTQ community and the people who support them.

Taking One for the Team: Right for a Reason-Life, Liberty, and a Crapload of Common Sense by Miriam Weaver and Amy Jo Clark

Has this election season made you a nervous wreck? I know it has me at the end of my tether, and with my bad allergies, morbid depression, and chronic insomnia, I don’t know if I should make a plate of brownies, charge my smart phone, or buy a truckload of Xanax. Either way this election goes (I’m going to plug my nose and vote for Hillary Clinton), by this time next week we will have a new President-Elect.

Anyway, here is my latest installment of “Taking One for the Team,” Right for a Reason: Life, Liberty, and a Crapload of Commonsense by Miriam Weaver and Amy Jo Clark, two Indiana-based conservative pundits who go by the name of Chicks on the Right. The Chicks have a radio show on WIBC in Indianapolis, an occasional newspaper column for the IndyStar, their own website featuring their opinion pieces (under the pen names Mockarena for Weaver and Daisy Jo for Clark), links to other like-minded conservative websites and memes well-versed in the radical right mindset. Their social media has plenty of followers and they are often profiled and interviewed by more mainstream media outlets.

Not living in Indiana, I first became aware of the Chicks when they wrote a scathing screed for the IndyStar lambasting liberal feminists for wearing vagina costumes or thinking tax payers should pay for their birth control pills or being all-around entitled, whiny, crybaby harpies. They claimed they were the true feminists because even if their husbands left them for “younger models” they would just pick themselves up by their bra straps, soldier on, and not expect any type of safety net to bail them out. And for some odd reason, stiletto shoes were also involved in the world of Chicks-fried feminism.

Well, as one of those liberal feminists the Chicks love to hate. I can’t recall seeing anyone in a vagina costume, and I don’t exactly expect anyone to pay for my birth control; I just believe there should a safety net for people who are struggling and a woman’s reproductive issues are a very important component of health care. I hardly think this makes me a virulent shrew. And I have to remind the Chicks, even this libtard, feminazi in sensible sling backs, pays her fair share of taxes.

This opinion piece went viral, picked up by other media outlets including Bust, Jezebel, We are Libertarians, and Democratic Underground. My curiosity piqued, I decided to learn more about the Chicks. I found their website, which included a high-heeled shoe in the logo (because the ladies love their shoes, amirite?). The Chicks’ apparent goal is to give conservatism a “makeover” because when people think of conservatism they think of old, white, silver-haired, dour and boring men. Well, actually I think of skinny blonde women talking smack…and writing smack.

Which finally brings me to Right for a Reason…

In Right for the Reason, the Chicks go deep as a Jimmy Choo in-step when it comes to serious topics regarding capitalism, race, feminism, guns, abortion, political correctness and LGTBQ issues.

On the surface, Right for the Reason’s first chapter, Capitalism is a Good Thing, isn’t exactly something I disagree with. I am very grateful for living in a country where entrepreneurs of all kinds from my friends Laura and Myra making a living designing jewelry to domestic diva, Martha Stewart, can hone their skills, talents and expertise and become successful. But capitalism is not without its faults whether it’s the malfeasance found on Wall Street or CEOs making 400 times what the average worker and treated to a golden parachute worth millions even though they make decisions that sink a company and screw over employees, clients, consumers, shareholders and other invested interests.

And then then there is their take on Occupy Wall Street, which to the Chicks, pretty much was made up of dreadlocked hippies pooping in the streets while updating their Twitter feeds on their iPhones. Sure, there were quite a few members of Occupy Wall Street that fit that tired stereotype. But if one looked any further, you would also find knitting grandmas, blue collar types and suit-wearing professionals. They also found one ridiculous Occupy Wall Street manifesto that they use to sum up the entire movement. That’s like me saying all members of the Tea Party can’t spell, are total bigots and dress like Paul Revere. I wouldn’t because I’m pretty sure the Tea Party types have a variety of people in their ranks, too.

When it comes to the poor here in the United States, the Chicks compare the poor in a first world country versus those in a third world country. Well, of course there are differences! We talking about a first world country compared to third world countries, where there are vast differences in policies, infrastructure, education, and so on. But the Chicks never delve into those complex topics. Instead, the poor in America often own TVs, DVD players, stereos, kitchen and laundry amenities, and even cars! Well, a lot of the poor live in apartments where kitchens come fully equipped and there are laundry facilities. One can buy certain luxuries like a TV used or have they been given as gifts. And if someone doesn’t live in a place with reliable public transportation a car is a must to get to work, school and to run errands. Yes, a lot of poor people work and/or going to school. Not everyone who is poor is lazy, popping out babies, uneducated, not working, watching “Jerry Springer” and fully dependent on the taxpayer. And it seems to the Chicks the only people who pay taxes are themselves and their fellow conservatives.

As for corporate welfare? The Chicks briefly refer to corporate welfare was the bailouts, which mostly happened in 2008—when Bush was still President.

In this chapter, the Chicks bring up the idea of “mincome,” which apparently all of Canadian liberals played around with back in the 1970s and it was a huge failure because everybody became a lazy slug or something like that. I had heard of mincome so I did some investigating. Turns out mincome was something relegated to mostly Manitoba, and the only people who pulled back on working and earning a paycheck were teenagers and mothers with babies and very young children. Most citizens continued to work regular jobs while also receiving a decent minimum income from the government.

And just who were among these unwashed hippies who came up with the idea of mincome? Milton Friedman, yep, that Milton Friedman.

In America is Exceptional the Chicks go all neener, neener on liberals who have the audacity to point out America’s flaws, both past and present. And Weaver tells the tale of her father coming to America as an immigrant and having nothing but good things happening for him, not quite owning up to the privilege he already had in place—being white and highly educated. He certainly had it better than some immigrants coming from places like Mexico and Syria, or what my great-grandfather, Max, faced coming here as a poor orphan from Germany when he was still a teenager. Anyway, the vastly smarter and funnier, Jimmy Dore, sums up what’s great about America in the final chapter of his book, Your Country is Just Not That Into You.

Other subjects where Chicks have all the intellectual heft of a feather include the idea of hands up, not hand-outs. I guess you’re alright to get some help if you’re a single mom who identifies as a conservative. The rest of us can just die in a fire.

When it comes to the first amendment the Chicks bitch their right to free speech is being violated due to one set back on Facebook, not quite acknowledging they have a radio show, a newspaper column, an active social media presence and a book. If that’s called having one’s first amendment rights being trampled on, sign me up! They also call political correctness stupid with all the maturity of kindergartners in a sandbox, claim they don’t see color when it comes to the thorny topic of race, stomp their stiletto-shod feet for their right to own things that go Pew-Pew-Pew (to the uninitiated they are talking about guns, not Pepe le Pew). They think the war on women is a load of crap (yep, these two classy dames love to use the word crap), but throw plenty of insults when it comes to women they disagree with, often using hateful dialogue to disparage a more liberal women’s looks. They are proudly pro-life and are convinced that all clinics that provide abortion services resemble the horrors of Kermit Gosnell’s clinic; most clinics don’t resemble Gosnell’s clinic at all.

And if you happen to be gay? Well, quit being so obvious about with your same sex wedding announcements, gay pride parades and suing Christian bakers. Yea, like the heterosexuals have to hide their lifestyles and loving with abiding shame.

In the final chapter the Chicks offer their declaration on why it’s time for a conservative makeover. They claim it’s not cool to be a conservative, not mentioning conservative ideas and opinions can be found all over in print, televison and digital media. As I write this, one of the hottest pundits in right wing media is yet another skinny, blonde, Tomi Lahren. Heck, she’s so hot she’s allegedly dating a cast-off of The Bachlorette!

But just how do the Chicks plan to give conservatism a make-over. Well, according to the cover and the contents of Right for a Reason it has to do something with Christian Loubatins, clothes from the MILF Collection at Forever 41 and calling out Nancy Pelosi for using Botox. Actually, the Chicks call conservative makeover consist the following:

1) Discuss conservatism with young people
2) Stop being prudes (it’s okay to cuss)
3) Remember the 80/20 rule (it’s okay if other people agree with only 80% of the time)
4) Stop with the labeling (interesting, considering the Chicks have a pretty strict guideline for what makes a true conservative)

As for the GOP, among the things the Chicks suggest include being offensive (no problem there with Trump as a possible next president—shudder) rather than defensive, use limited government, the Constitution and personal freedom when it comes to messaging, empower women and minorities, use all media platforms, and fight fire with fire.

Okay, the Chicks do have a point on certain things. I think they bring up interesting concepts when it comes to messaging. And they call out both Todd Akin and Todd Rokita for their positively boneheaded remarks, Rokita making condescending compliment regarding CNN’s Carol Costello’s looks and Akin’s opinions regarding rape. And though the Chicks are pro-life, they are also in favor of contraceptives and Plan B.

But ultimately, Right for a Reason is just a shrill and malicious, with writing on par with a middle school mean girl’s Twitter diatribes against various liberals, feminists, progressive activists, not to mention President Obama, Hillary Clinton, Sandra Fluke, Beyoncé, Al Franken, Sheryl Sandberg, and Whoopi Goldberg. They offer no promise of hope and how to reach across the aisle to truly improve the state of the USA in the 21^st century. Right for a Reason is also devoid of carefully honed research on issues that are crucial to us as citizens at one of the most critical times in country’s history. In the end, you aren’t left with the feeling conservatism doesn’t need a makeover; it needs a complete do-over, a total reboot, the kind of boot that can’t be found at any pricey shoe boutique.

Right for a Reason: Life, Liberty and a Crapload of Common Sense is right on one thing. It is a crapload.

 

Book Reviews: Ladies in Shiny Pants by Jill Soloway

Upon her Sunday night triumph, I just had to dust off this review of Jill Solaway’s book Ladies in Shiny Pants from one of my now-defunct blogs. Enjoy!

Jill Soloway is a talented screenwriter, director, and TV show creator who has written for television shows like Six Feet Under, Grey’s Anatomy, The United States of Tara and most recently, the critically acclaimed Transparent. And this past Sunday, Soloway won a much-deserved Emmy for best director for directing an episode of Transparent.

Along with her sister, Faith, Jill has written the live shows The Real Live Brady Bunch and The Vagina Pageant. She’s a professional colleague and friends with Diablo Cody and has written for several anthologies. And in 2005, Jill’s collection of essays Tiny Ladies in Shiny Pants: Based on a True Story was published.

In Tiny Ladies in Shiny Pants, Jill tells us about her younger years growing up in the Chicago in the only white and Jewish family in the neighborhood, and the years that followed. At only 13, Jill and her friends would don their tightest, shiniest clothes and go to concerts hoping to meet their rock and roll heroes. Jill figured if she met her favorite musician, he would see past her young age, and fall madly in love with her. Of course, her rock and roll dreams never came true, and thusly, led her on a path of romantic confusion

A few years later, Jill loses her virginity to an older man. This doesn’t destroy her, yet she readily admits that her vulnerability and feeling less-than her prettier friends made it easy for this man to get her into bed before she was truly ready for such intimacy. However, Jill does show a sense of humor about the entire situation, later calling this guy “Lotion Bag” because he was always asking about a bag he carried around that carried his lotion.

As she gets older, Jill faces the world of being a grown up, and what it is like to be a young woman trying to navigate a post-feminist world, where getting breast implants is supposed to be empowering, yet she can’t help but watch the Miss America pageant year after year. Jill admits she feels some connection to Monica Lewinsky and the murdered intern Chandra Levy. She’s honest about her attraction to both cop bars and guys she calls “toolbelts”-hot construction workers.

Post-college Jill ends up in Los Angeles and finds success as a screenwriter, producer and comedian. But despite her success, she can’t help but snark on the absurdity that is Hollywood and her life.

Jill is funny, honest and very self-deprecating. She doesn’t shy from calling herself a feminist and she’s proud of her Jewish heritage. The over-use of exclamation points can get out of hand at times, but I see this book as a conversation with your excitable friend who uses her hands in conversation a lot. Tiny Ladies in Shiny Pants reminds me a bit of People are Unappealing by Sara Barron, which I reviewed quite a while ago. Tiny Ladies in Shiny Pants is a fun summer read that will make you cringe, make you say, “Right on!” and totally entertain you.

Book Review: Under the Affluence-Shaming the Poor, Praising the Rich and Sacrificing the Future of America by Tim Wise

Every once in while there comes a book that makes me want to shout from the roof tops, “Everybody, please read this book if you truly care about humanity and society!” Tim Wise’s book Under the Affluence: Shaming the Poor, Praising the Rich and Sacrificing the Future of America, is one such book. And though it may sound melodramatic, I truly think Mr. Wise’s book is an excellent primer on exactly why our nation seems so skewed, confused and messed-up, especially during one of our most scary, yet important presidential election years ever.

Scholar, activist and writer, the aptly named Tim Wise, has focused on societal issues since college and one of his first jobs was working against former KKK grand wizard, David Duke’s presidential bid. Since then Wise has worked on behalf of many progressive causes and has written several books, Under the Affluence being his latest.

In 2016 Wise wonders why do we (as a nation and a society) shame the poor (and let’s face it, anyone who isn’t mega wealthy) while praising the super-rich? And what does that say about us and what impact is this having on society?

Wise calls this detestable movement “Scroogism,” and, yes, based on Ebenezer Scrooge from the Charles Dickens’ classic A Christmas Carol. And it is a theme that has shaped our thinking about the haves vs. the have-nots and have-lessers, much of it encouraged by big business, Wall Street, billionaires and millionaires, CEOs, the radical right political pundits, the current state of the GOP, conservative Christianity, mainstream media and often, ourselves. And yes, that includes the have-nots and have-lessers. And Wise offers evidence through nearly 40 pages of end notes to give gravitas to Under the Affluence.

Under the Affluence and its theme of Scroogism is divided into three well-researched, scholarly, yet audience friendly, maddening, heartbreaking and in the end, cautiously hopeful chapters. These chapters include:

1. Pulling Apart-The State of Disunited America
2. Resurrecting Scrooge-Rhetoric and Policy in a Culture of Cruelty
3. Redeeming Scrooge-Fostering a Culture of CompassionIn Resurrecting Scrooge,

Wise carefully researches how in the 21^st century the United States is a society that bashes the poor, blames victims, the unemployed and underemployed, embraces a serious lack of compassion and celebrates cruelty while putting the wealthy and the powerful on a pedestal. And Wise examines the origins of class and cruelty in the United States, the ideas of the Social Gospel and FDR’s New Deal, the myths and realities of the War on Poverty from its inception to Reaganism (and how liberals responded), and the concept how culture of cruelty affects who receives justice and who receives nothing at all except horrifically de-humanizing insults, both in rhetoric and reality. It is probably these two chapters that truly stirred my rage, and at times, I had to put Under the Affluence down and take a few deep breaths.But just as I was about to chuck Under the Affluence across the room and spend a week in the corner rocking back and forth, I read the final chapter, and felt a bit of hope. Perhaps, as nation things aren’t as bleak as they seem. In this chapter, Wise reminds us to look for possible roadblocks on the way of redemption. He also mentions that besides facts, use storytelling because behind every fact there is a very human face with a story that must be heard. He behooves us to create “a vision of a culture of a compassion” and how we can help communities to control their destiny.

Now, I am a realist. I know for the most part Under the Affluence is a book that preaches to the choir, especially in 2016. But maybe, just maybe, Under the Affluence will open minds, soften hearts and act an agent for, as Elvis Costello so aptly put it, “peace, love and understanding.” Under the Affluence is not only one of the most important books to come out in 2016; it is one of the most important books to come out in the 21^st century.

Wise also takes a look at the world of the working poor and the non-working rich, the myth of meritocracy, horribly mean-spirited remarks, much of it coming from the radical right, including pundits and politicians, excessive CEO and big business pay, the devaluing of work that truly benefits all of society-nursing, teaching social work, protecting the public, improving our infrastructure, creating art, taking care of the elderly and disabled, and so on. And let’s not forget the very valuable work that doesn’t pay-parenting, eldercare, volunteering, etc.

In Pulling Apart, Wise takes a hardcore look at our current state of joblessness, wage stagnation, underemployment and how they affect us in this stage of “post-recession recovering” America. He investigates today’s realities and the long-term effects of income and wealth inequality. Wise contemplates who and what caused these problems and how race, class and economics are involved.