Audrey Meyerwitz is like a lot of us. She wants to find love, get married, settle down, and maybe have some kids. But being a queer woman with a bad case of insomnia and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, all Audrey’s dreams might not come true. And all of this is expertly told in Gail Marlene Schwartz’s novel Falling Through the Night.
Audrey thinks she’s too screwed up to be in a relationship. And she wonders if she’ll ever get a happy ending of marriage and motherhood. But Audrey’s roommate and bestie, Jessica (who is straight and a recovering alcoholic) encourages Audrey to check out dating apps. Together they craft a profile for Audrey on the lesbian dating site SheLovesHer. Perhaps this will be the ticket for Audrey to meet her Ms. Right (or maybe a few Ms. Right Nows).
Through SheLovesHer, Audrey meets Denise, a beautiful French-Canadian woman. Sparks fly between the two and soon Audrey moves to Canada to make a new life with Denise. A new life with Denise includes marriage, getting involved in a local performance troupe, and volunteering at a animal shelter.
Though Audrey’s mental health issues are a concern, she grows more sure of herself. When Audrey and Denise decide to start a family, it is Denise who is inseminated and carries the pregnancy (and it turns out Audrey is carrying twins). It turns out one of the twins has Down’s Syndrome and Audrey and Denise decide to give this baby up for adoption. It may sound cruel, but Audrey, with her mental health issues) is very uncertain she can care for a child with special needs.
Marriage and motherhood is Audrey’s dream come true. But she and Denise do face challenges. At times, Audrey has trouble dealing with Denise’s past. Denise wasn’t always faithful to her past lovers. But she does seem to be true blue with Audrey.
And though their son Adam doesn’t have Down’s Syndrome, he does have a few development delays. But through a lot of hard work and parental love and devotion, Adam begins to thrive and appears to be an utter delight to his two moms.
Audrey does face other roadblocks outside of marriage and motherhood. There is some animosity amongst her friend group, which leaves her quite bewildered. Her friend and former roommate, Jessica, loses her battle with sobriety. But when Audrey finds out mother (who adopted her), she is completely thrown for a loop, and begins to question every decision she’s made and her place in the world. Finding out her adoptive mother’s secrets challenges Audrey to remain strong and believe in herself.
Audrey is a flawed yet lovable heroine. I felt deep empathy every time she faltered or had a setback. And I cheered at everyone of Audrey’s triumphs, big and small. Falling Through the Night isn’t just a great read for Pride Month, it’s a great read all year around.
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