ted-white-blue-coverI will either be dead or in jail if Obama is re-elected” – Ted Nugent

“Well, I’m waiting.” – Bookish Jen

To those of you who aren’t familiar with Ted Nugent, consider yourself lucky. But I’m going to fill you in. Once upon a time Ted Nugent was a supposed rock star with one notable hit that I can actually remember hearing on the radio, “Cat Scratch Fever.” Other songs amongst Teddy’s songbook include “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang,” “Stranglehold,” and “If You Can’t Lick ‘Em… Lick ‘Em.”

“Wang Dang Sweet Poontang,” Stranglehold,” and “If You Can’t Lick ‘Em… Lick ‘Em?” you ask with a shudder. Yes, my lovely readers. Who says romance is dead?

Nowadays, Teddy Boy, is pretty much a nostalgia act for the Tea Party set. And he also fancies himself a political pundit who writes commentary for such publications like World Net Daily. He’s also written a few books, including Ted, White and Blue-The Nugent Manifesto, which was published just before President Obama was elected in 2008. Ted, White and Blue features Ted’s take on taxes, politics, immigration, education, healthcare, and his favorite topic, guns. And not surprisingly, Ted’s manifesto is delivered with all of the wit, wisdom and nuance of an AK47. But instead of writing a review I will showcase Ted’s selected photographs found within the confines of Ted, White and Blue, complete with Ted’s very own words, and my responses written with a poison Jen, responses more Dorothy Parker than Bonnie Parker. And keep in mind, as a country we are better off thinking red (I’m a redhead) than thinking Ted.

Three very black guys with a very dead lion, Sudan 1978

Three very black guys with a very dead lion, Sudan 1978

Black guy on the left, “Bitch, please.” Black guy on the right, “You are a white dude from Detroit. Shut up.” Lion in the middle, “This guy’s dick is in my ass! Help!”

 

Ma Deuce border security, Chesty Puller style.

Ma Deuce border security, Chesty Puller style.

Large cigar, huge gun between his legs. Clearly Ted is lacking something.

The spirit of Sitting Bull and Geronimo lives.

The spirit of Sitting Bull and Geronimo lives.

This is what you get when you Google, “Right wing performance art at Coachella.

I am the NRA.

I am the NRA.

Alternative to the National Rifle Association, the NRA. Nugent Runs Amok.

Free machine guns for all the children.

Free machine guns for all the children.

Sadly, the parents of Newton, Massachusetts who lost their beautiful children on December 14, 2012 at Sandy Hook Elementary will never get to put their arms around their deceased children. No parent should ever have to bury child, and never should a parent have to bury a child due to senseless gun violence.

A perfect American family.

A perfect American family.

No Ted, this is a perfect American family.

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